


Home (My Heart Is With You)

by Soapbubblesoul



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Catboy!Yifan, Catboys & Catgirls, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:19:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6624763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soapbubblesoul/pseuds/Soapbubblesoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thread that weaves through Yixing's life is not red, but a washed out Cornflower blue, tying him to the silver-haired catboy that his parents bring home when Yixing is eight years old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home (My Heart Is With You)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Oh!BoY. A big fat thank you goes to Lo and Grace, as always. Thank you Grace for literally saving this fic, without you I wouldn't have made it, and thank you Lo for betaing it on such short notice. Also a big fat non-thank you goes to Rani for cursing this fic. There you have your catboy!Yifan. I hope you're happy. I want a compensation.
> 
> Warnings: Use of Sex Toys, rimming

The first time Yixing sees Yifan, the catboy is half a head smaller than him; his silver, furry ears flattened against his head in a visible display of an emotion that could range from slight insecurity to downright discomfort. His tail, sporting the same bright colour, is curled around his thigh. Never before in his life have Yixing’s protective instincts kick in faster, than as his mother gives Yifan a gentle push in order to make him move through the doorway. Yixing swears his heart skips a beat when the small catboy stumbles a little as his feet catch on the door sill; not out of real fear that the other boy will hurt himself—he doesn't stumble strongly enough for that—but rather because the sight is so utterly adorable.

They do not really plan on keeping or adopting Yifan at first. He's one of the strays that Yixing's father takes care of as a volunteer after his office job and during the weekends. Yifan is by far the youngest of all the hybrids they provide shelter for. Since he refuses to speak, they can't really be sure why he wound up sitting next to the bus stop close to Yixing's father's workplace one morning, his slim body basically drowning in the gigantic sweater he had pulled on, which sadly didn't do much to ward off the nasty drizzle that painted the autumn day grey. When the young boy was still seated in the same spot when Yixing's father returned from work, it wasn't all that difficult for him to put one and one together, especially with the shape of Yifan's tail being visible in the back of his sweater as he shifted the appendage around.

When Yixing's father gives him the rice ball he bought at the Konbini right across the street, the boy looks up with sparkling eyes, the hint of wariness in them immediately disappearing when he sees the coaxing smile Yixing's father is sporting. The snack is gone within seconds, devoured in four big bites, speaking of obvious hunger.

They provide Yifan a bed at the shelter for four nights, but since the little hybrid shows no signs of either talking or socializing with the other strays, they decide that perhaps it would be better to give the young boy a foster family where he can experience some personal care. Since Yixing's father is the only one with a child around the catboy's age, it's only natural to entrust Yifan into his care.

It's all meant to be temporary. They plan to give Yifan a chance to recover from whatever he had experienced, so that he could return to the shelter in a state that would make him eligible for being adopted into a nice and caring family.

Yixing, an only child who always wanted siblings, takes to his new role as Yifan's playmate and protector like a fish to water. It wouldn't even have taken his mother or father telling him that he should take good care of the hybrid boy, just their first meeting and one look into these big, Celadon coloured eyes is enough to have Yixing, naive, small, eight-year-old Yixing, swear lifelong protection and care. Yifan is shy at first, overwhelmed by the exuberant energy of the other child, but it's the same kind of energy that quickly envelopes and pulls him in. He remains withdrawn, his face looking rather scary even for a young boy, with his strong eyebrows pulled into a perpetual frown. Only when he looks at Yixing does his gaze soften, his ears perking up and his tail swishing in excitement whenever he catches a hint of Yixing's voice.

They never set a limit on Yifan's stay, the only goal being to make him recover, no matter whether that takes weeks or months. Yet Yixing catches his parents having a hushed conversation in the living room one night two months after they took Yifan in, thinking that both children are already asleep. Yifan still hasn't said a single word, and Yixing's parents worry that he's not making any progress, that just living with their family is not enough to help him. Yixing, on his way back from the toilet, catches exactly the part where they talk about whether it wouldn't be better to give Yifan into the hands of a professional, someone who actually has experience with dealing with young strays. Both jump a little in shock when suddenly the door is thrown open and Yixing bursts in, tears brimming in his eyes and his hands balled in fists.

“You can't give Yifan away,” he says in an accusing tone, his fingers trembling as small tears start to spill from his eyes. He's eight years old and losing Yifan seems like the end of the world to him, like he failed the one task he has in life, which is to care for the catboy. His parents immediately rush to his side, trying to comfort him and tell him that this is for Yifan's best, and that they don't want to lose their new family member either but sometimes hard choices have to be made. Yixing doesn't listen, moves away from their comforting touches as he sobs uncontrollably. He doesn't listen to any of the placating words of his parents, too caught up in his crying fit. There are tears glistening in his mother's eyes as well at the sight, but all she can do is cast helpless gazes at her husband.

Neither of them notice the new presence in the room until Yifan steps onto the third floor board that always squeaks, and they all see the catboy standing next to the door, wearing his wide pajamas that always make him look even smaller, his hair still mussed from sleep. His eyes are wide and fixed on the crying figure of Yixing, whose eyes are red and slightly swollen. For a moment Yixing's sobbing stops, leaving only the sound of sniffling behind, as he and Yifan face each other.

The catboy stills in shock for a moment, before his expression changes into one displaying distress. He moves forward with unsure steps to where Yixing is standing, looking at him with worry etched into his features. All this time he's only seen Yixing smiling and being happy, or displaying the annoyance a child feels when it’s forced by its parents to do household chores or homework when it would rather play. Yifan doesn't know Yixing being sad, and the way his ears fold against his head speak of his uncertainty of how to deal with the situation. For a heartbeat they just look at each other, then Yifan fists his hands into the seam of his shirt, and opens his mouth.

Everything in the room seems to go silent when Yifan whispers “Yixing.” the name spoken in a voice that carries worry and the wish to comfort and a sense of helplessness, almost pleading as if he wants Yixing to tell him how to make him feel better again. His voice is scratchy from disuse, and small, but everyone present catches the word.

Yixing's mother gasps silently in the background, as does his father, but Yixing doesn't care for that. He's staring at Yifan with wide eyes, unable to believe that the first thing he ever heard the catboy say is his name, and then his face contorts as he starts bawling even stronger than before, moving forwards to latch himself onto Yifan's neck. He chants the catboy's name while clinging to him, as well as he can get the sound out between his hiccups. Yifan looks utterly lost at suddenly having the human boy clinging to him. “Yixing,” he repeats, this time calling for his attention, “Yixing,” and he continues whispering the name while his hands let go of his own shirt to curl his fingers into Yixing's shirt in turn. When calling for Yixing doesn't seem to have the desired effect, Yifan instead tiptoes a little and starts darting his tongue over Yixing's cheeks, lapping at the tear tracks there. Since the sounds of the younger's crying don't stop, Yifan continues cleaning the younger's face. It takes him a few moments to realize that Yixing's sobs have changed. There are laughs mixed into them, the slightly rough texture of the catboy's tongue tickling him and the gesture making his heart overflow with fondness at the other's cuteness. So he half-laughs, half-sobs, and holds Yifan as close as he can. If his parents want to take the catboy away from him, they should just try to pry him from his hands.

It takes almost half an hour to calm the eight-year-old down again, and even after his parents have assured him that there is no reason for him to worry, that they won't give Yifan away, Yixing still keeps on clinging to the smaller, and Yifan reciprocates by holding tight onto Yixing's shirt. Even after they've been put to sleep they don't let go.

The next morning Yixing's father goes to fetch the adoption papers for Yifan from the shelter.

 

 

-o-

 

Moving out for college was a rush, the dorms of his university so helplessly high in demand that Yixing gave up trying to score a room there after two introduction events he attended with roughly 300 other freshmen, who all wanted to get one of the roughly 200 beds available. So instead he ventured to look for flats for rent, hoping to find one that was still relatively close to his campus. It was pure luck, being at the right place at the right time—or rather accidentally getting off at the wrong stop on his way to his tutoring and only realizing it after he had already walked for five minutes. There it had been, the sign telling new freshman of Yixing's university that there was an unoccupied flat in the building, and Yixing had missed the first hour of tutoring in favour of discussing with the landlord about possible rent conditions.

The two-room apartment is not exactly a new building, in the winter it's difficult to get it warm and in summer it's the exact opposite problem. But, it is affordable with the money Yixing makes with his side job as a waiter and the monthly allowance his parents can pay him, and it takes him a mere thirty minutes to the university in the morning if he goes on his bike, twenty if he takes the train.

The original plan had been for Yixing to live by himself there, but after only two weeks of being apart, both Yixing and Yifan displayed severe signs of withdrawal. So strongly so, that Yixing's parents decided that it probably was for the best if Yifan were to follow after their son, instead of staying in the house he had grown up in. Between the decision and the actual move, two mere days passed in which Yifan packed a suitcase and Yixing bought another pillow and blanket, having agreed within the same heartbeat that his parents had told him about the suggestion.

Yifan's and Yixing's reunion ended with their parents crying when they had to leave because not only had they lost one, but both of their sons, and even though the two of them were only living a good forty  minutes away, it was still enough for Yixing's parents to make it seem like they had moved to a whole different country. Yixing's reminder that it was their idea in the first place to have Yifan move in with him as well, had earned him a good-natured slap against his shoulder and the reminder that he shouldn't be sassy but rather comfort his mother like the good son he was supposed to be.

Living alone had already been weird in the beginning, and living together with Yifan required a bit of an adaptation period, but they both quickly realized that it wasn't all that difficult. Whenever Yixing was home he would provide Yifan with all the attention and cuddles he could, and when he was away for classes, Yifan would dabble in household chores, figuring out how to work the washing machine or finding websites for the food delivery services in their neighbourhood.

The cleaning of the flat and the actual cooking were left to Yixing, but they made it work quite well between the two of them. It didn't take Yixing long to realize that rather than things just working out with the two of them living together, this was what he needed.

There are two types of people, gardeners and flowers. The flowers need someone to take care of them, to water them and make sure they have enough sunlight to bloom, and the gardeners are responsible for providing exactly that care. Both are mutually dependant on each other, as the flower withers without its gardener, while the gardener has no purpose without a flower to look after, feeling like they are being useless.

Yixing, without question, is the gardener type, needing someone to nourish and cherish and Yifan is his flower.

 

 

-o-

 

“Yifan, I'm back!” Yixing calls into the flat, struggling with undoing the shoelaces of his left shoe, but he doesn't get an answer back. He's at home for the first time in a week, only just returned from his university excursion. His mother stayed with Yifan while Yixing was perched together with his classmates in a youth hostel up in the mountains, but she had already left that morning when she went to work. It's not like Yifan to come greet him at the door all excitedly; he's no dog hybrid after all, he is a cat, mind you. He does, however, usually show some kind of reaction to Yixing returning, and if it only is a lazy calling back out to the younger or poking his head out of the doorway. And Yixing being gone for class trips during school always made him turn that tiny bit more excited about Yixing's return. This time, however, there is absolutely no reaction, and when Yixing finally moves deeper into their shared flat, dragging his luggage behind him, he wonders whether the catboy has fallen asleep.

"Yifan?" Yixing tries again, but his call still goes unanswered. He makes a short stop in the living room to drop his backpack on the couch, so he won't forget to unpack it later, before heading for their bedroom.

As expected, he finds Yifan in bed, but he's not asleep. Instead he's on his laptop, pretending to conveniently not having noticed how Yixing came back. Even now that the black haired male is standing in the doorway, Yifan doesn't even lift his glance or acknowledge Yixing's presence at all.

"Yifan," the younger male tries again, "I'm back."

A low grunt in the back of his throat is all the reaction the catboy shows this time, his ears still folded against his head as if he's trying to block Yixing out on purpose. His eyes are fixed onto the screen in front of him, and if Yixing hadn't known the other better, he would have actually believed that he was on working on something important or reading something very interesting. But he knows the other, and while he knows that Yifan is very diligent and dedicated when it comes to his studies, he also knows that his tail twitches when he's concentrating, or that his tongue will dart out at least once a minute, as if he's reminded of his time as a small kitten that's gotten milk left on its upper lip. Concentrated Yifan is a sight so adorable that Yixing regularly breaks his focus by cooing. This right in front of him, however, is mildly irritated Yifan, not the concentrated one, and it doesn't take a mastermind to know exactly what the cause for that irritation is.

"Yifan, you know I didn't have any choice but go," Yixing explains, hoping he sounds only half as exasperated as he feels at seeing the catboy sulk. He knows that letting too much of his attitude slip into his tone will make Yifan go on the defense. He moves to sit on the other half of the bed--Yifan's, since the catboy is currently occupying Yixing's. "I wanted to take you with me, you know that. I asked, but they said there were no free beds and they didn't want you to be a distraction to the students present." Still no reaction. "It would have been so boring for you on top of that. Heck, it was boring even for me."

There is a silent huff of air, as Yifan lets the other know just how dissatisfied he is with that explanation. "Come on, don't be a child. I'm back now." Yixing shifts until he can lean forward, reaching out for the catboy, but Yifan recoils slightly with a hiss, his slightly pointed teeth bared. The student doesn't let the gesture stop him though, and he just moves closer. "Stop sulking, I always come back, don't I?"

Yifan finally lifts his gaze from the laptop, and when Yixing's hand comes into contact with his cheek, he doesn't startle or move away. Instead he leans into the touch, the movement downright subconscious, as if it's an instinct he can't fight.

"You were gone for so long," the catboy croaks out, making it sound as if Yixing was gone for months, not mere days. Yixing just hums in agreement however, because he also feels as if he was gone for way too long. He lets his thumb glide along Yifan's cheek, and watches as the catboy's eyes fall closed, a content humming rumbling from deep in his chest. The sound draws a fond smile to Yixing's lips.

It takes a bit for Yifan to forget his sulkiness, but when he opens his eyes, the defiance is gone from them. "You were gone for so long," the silver-haired male repeats, and this time there's no accusation, just a pure expression of how much Yifan missed him.

"I know," Yixing replies, and places Yifan's laptop on the nightstand so that neither he himself nor Yifan can accidentally throw it down. He's killed enough electrical devices with his carelessness, and that laptop was a present from his parents for Yifan when he enrolled in a distance university last year, so the catboy values it greatly. When the coast is clear, he sits back down on the bed, his legs drawn under his body. He opens his arms, and Yifan only hesitates for the blink of an eye. Yixing knows the catboy has been dying to jump at him ever since Yixing walked into the bedroom, and true to his expectations Yifan immediately steadies himself by grabbing Yixing's arms while he's nuzzling into Yixing's neck first. He licks along the exposed skin, and despite years of practice, Yixing still shudders a little. The catboy doesn't spend too much time on the place where Yixing is the most ticklish, instead moving up and rubbing his cheek against Yixing's, before stretching until he can bury his nose in Yixing's hair, gliding down immediately after to move along Yixing's shoulder. The whole scenting process is one Yixing is long familiar with, but he doesn't remember the last time Yifan was this thorough with it.

"So much to cover up?" he asks with a light chuckle when Yifan licks along his jaw, as if he's attempting to clean off all the foreign odours with his raspy tongue. Which probably is exactly what he's doing.

"You've been sleeping in a dorm room," Yifan says by means of explanation, sounding quite accusing, and Yixing can't help but chuckle.

"I didn't really have a choice, you know?"

Yifan doesn't reply, he just continues cleaning Yixing and covering up all other scents with his own. Yixing, accepting it as a sign of love, endures the procedure without complaining.

 

 

-o-

 

If one asked any of Yixing's friends, they would say that Yifan is everything one would expect of a cat: aloof, distant, a hint of arrogance in his gaze and a preference for solitude. Whenever Yixing has visitors over, the catboy chooses to rather hide away in the bedroom, sometimes with a good book, sometimes just napping, sometimes simply avoiding all social interaction. There are very few friends of Yixing's he likes enough to stick around when they're over, but even in their presence he usually is rather silent, keeping to himself rather than mingling with the crowd.

It's the reason why none of his friends believe Yixing when he tells them how utterly cute Yifan is, looking at him with pitying compassion when he tells them that the catboy is brimming with affection, and is in constant need of cuddles, as if Yixing's delusional and all these things are only happening in his head. As soon as it is just the two of them, Yifan, however, is exactly that.

Not as if he's not still proud around Yixing, occasionally trying to act all cool and reserved, but the younger knows exactly what's up. He hasn't essentially grown up together with Yifan for nothing. He knows the catboy and all his mannerisms and hidden character traits like the back of his hand.

As a child Yixing had been slightly indignant about the fact that Yifan had quickly grown to be taller than him. It didn't even take one year for them to be roughly the same height, and as soon as they both reached puberty Yifan quickly was almost a head taller than the younger boy, and no matter how much milk Yixing drank, he couldn't catch up with him.

"I'm supposed to care for you so I'm supposed to be taller!" Yixing once accused in a fit of rather childish anger and jealousy as a barely eleven year old, when Yifan was only a few centimetres taller. As a consequence the catboy had walked around with hunched shoulders and a bowed back in order to be smaller than Yixing for about a week, making Yixing feel so guilty that he spent all his pocket money on a sweater three sizes too big for Yifan, that he had seen the catboy eye when they were out for grocery shopping with Yixing's father.

"So that it'll still fit when you're older," Yixing explained, the younger's indirect plea for forgiveness when Yifan basically drowned in the garment as he tried it on, hoping that the gesture would express that he was fine with Yifan growing much taller still, that it wouldn't change anything between them. Uncaring of his height and age, Yixing would always care for Yifan, and the sweater was supposed to be a sign of that.

Yifan accepted the sweater, and wore it so much that by the time it finally fit his body size the formerly bright Persian blue had been washed out until it faded to a pale Cornflower shade, and by the time the motif  on the front had completely peeled off the sweater was already a bit too short to fit the length of Yifan's arms, revealing a strip of his stomach whenever he stretched up, but he still kept on wearing it, as if it was a constant reminder of Yixing's promise.

 

 

-o-

 

Picking Yifan up from school still feels weird even though it's far from the first time. Yixing knows the way from the bus stop to the big grey building so well by now, he's sure he could walk it with his eyes closed. Yifan is not yet done with his classes, so Yixing decides that he might as well take a seat in one of the chairs lined up in the corridor right outside the classroom for parents to wait in. They are way too small for fully grown adults, but Yixing figures that the grade school simply doesn’t have any big-sized chairs except for the handful in the staff room.

He brought his textbook with him, always the studious student, so he doesn’t even feel the time pass until the chime resounds through the hallway, indicating the end of the lesson and the beginning of lunch break. Yixing has barely managed to store his belongings in his backpack again when the door to Yifan’s class opens, and he rises just in time to see Yifan surrounded by a circle of children, half of which are trying to clamber onto his lap in order to force him to stay. No matter how often Yixing comes around to pick up from work, the sight never fails in drawing a fond smile to his lips.

“Do you need help?” he asks with a laugh when he steps into the room, nodding towards the supervising teacher in greeting as he passes by her on her way to where Yifan is providing the six-year-olds with a hybrid-shaped climbing frame.

“What makes you think so?” the hybrid asks back in a deadpan voice, “I’ve obviously got everything under control.” An excited giggle resounds through the room as one of the little girls takes one big leap, throwing her arms around his neck and prompting the catboy to lean forward a bit so that she can rest a bit more comfortably on his back without strangling him. The other children, immediately noticing the opening in Yifan’s defences, take less than the blink of an eye to swarm him, abusing his weakened state and bringing him down with united powers. Yixing watches them clamber for his tail, ears and hair, fascinated by their softness and the catboy’s anatomy differing from their own.

Yixing is just about to intercept, worried about Yifan since he knows exactly how sensitive the hybrid’s tail and ears are, but when he hears the deep voice of Yifan joining in with the high-pitched giggles of the children, he relaxes back into his position of a silent, amused spectator.

It’s the teacher who eventually forces the bundle of children covering Yifan to disperse, as it is lunchtime and they need to make their way to the cafeteria. There’s a lot of whining, and children clinging to Yifan’s arm as if letting go of them will mean they’ll lose everything. The promise of food, and of Yifan’s return the next morning, together with the soft coaxing of the catboy himself eventually causes even the last child to head for lunch, until there’s only Yixing and Yifan left in the otherwise empty classroom.

“Hi,” Yifan greets with a wide grin when he lifts his gaze from the door to look at Yixing instead, noticing just then that he failed to greet the younger yet with his hands having been full with the children, literally.

“Hi,” Yixing answers back, his lips automatically stretching to mirror the other’s expression of joy. It never fails to amaze him just how brightly glowing a morning always leaves Yifan, even when he’s sitting on the floor, supporting his own weight on his hands as he’s leant back a little, his hair a dishevelled mess.

“I only need to pack my stuff then we can head out,” the elder says as he picks himself up from the floor, dusting his trousers off and raking his fingers through his hair in an attempt to put the loose strands back into place. Yixing steps close, smoothing his own hand over the other's head to catch whatever unevenness Yifan didn't. The catboy automatically lowers his head a little to make things easier for Yixing, and when the younger grazes against his ears, gently ruffling the silver fur at their base, Yifan's eyes automatically fall shut as a low, content purring vibrates in his chest. The content smile on his face remains even after Yixing has pulled back, and when he opens his eyes again, they crinkle slightly around the edges as he looks at Yixing, who mirrors his expression.

"How was your day?" he asks, following Yifan to where his backpack is resting behind the teacher's desk, waiting patiently as the hybrid sorts his teaching materials and personal belongings. Yixing is the type to forget everything everywhere, the type to place his headphones together with his phone on the small cupboard by their front door and still only pick up one of the two when heading out. Yifan, in turn, always checks his bags and surroundings thrice to make sure that everything is where it's supposed to be. It's a trait Yixing admires, probably because he knows it's unattainable for him.

As they make their way out of the school, Yifan tells him about the subjects he taught today, and about how much the kids have improved within the last few months. Yixing listens intently, loving the way Yifan's eyes sparkle with excitement as he recounts his day. Yifan has always been the passionate kind, putting all his heart into whatever activity or interest he chose to pursue, and the way he recounts anything related to his teaching profession tells Yixing that this is exactly the right career for the catboy.

Yixing sometimes envies him. It's not as if he's not in love with his subject of study, or as if he can't throw his all into studying for it, but he doesn't know about the future yet. Show business is hard, and there are way too many who want to enter it. He doesn't want to go the route of standing in the spotlight, he wants to be behind it, supporting other artists and helping them to shine. It's still written in the stars, whether or not he will be able to score a position at all, and if he does, whether it will be one with enough freedom for him to be as creative as he wants to be.

 

After three years of university, he could have graduated, much like Yifan did before going to find the job he's currently working in, but since Yixing was still undecided about what kind of path he wants to go in the future--and technically _is_ until this day--he decided against graduating in favour of prolonging his study, shifting his focus from composing to choreographing. He loves both equally, and while he's been taking most classes on composing in the first part of his degree, it's an utter delight to be able to expand his knowledge on the physical part of performances as well. The better his education, the more doors will be open for him, he knows that. It's only thanks to the scholarship he's managed to score that he's able to stay in university for longer, and he works hard to make the best of the opportunities he's been given.

They are both still dependent on the money that Yixing's parents deposit in their bank account however because the scholarship only manages to cover so much, but the fact that Yifan is able to provide them with some kind of income is a great relief, to Yixing's parents and to Yixing's conscience. Whenever Yixing apologizes for putting that burden on Yifan, the catboy just tells him not to worry. It's clear to both of them, that in the long run it will be the money that Yixing earns that has to keep them both afloat, and Yifan likes to remind him of that before telling him that he likes the idea of being able to support Yixing for as long as the younger needs him too, before their roles will be reversed in the future.

Yifan works only in the morning for two days a week, and gives morning and afternoon classes on the remaining three. He's only a part timer at his school, his job requirements perfectly fitted to what he can provide as a hybrid. It means that unless Yixing has unscheduled practices, he can usually comes to pick Yifan from work twice a week, once after his classes for the day have already ended, and once in between his morning and his evening lectures. He particularly enjoys the days when he has the afternoon off, because it means that he can always spend a slow afternoon with the hybrid, often cooking lunch together, sometimes stopping by at a restaurant or getting take out to bring home with them.

What he enjoys even more, however, are the mornings, every morning, where he prepares breakfast while Yifan is in the shower, and they have breakfast together. Yifan always has to leave first, his school being farther away and his work starting earlier than Yixing's lectures do. It's an unhurried and comfortable life they've settled into, and Yixing thinks that this is the way things can be forever.

 

 

-o-

 

When Yixing wakes up, Yifan is curled around him. The catboy gets particularly clingy when he's sleeping, and Yixing dreads the summer a little when the temperatures will make such closeness be rather uncomfortable. He likes the feeling of the catboy's breath fanning gently against his chest, the elder's body emitting a warmth that's still very comfortable in the slightly chilly air of spring, and he knows that he will miss this once the first hot days will roll around in a few weeks.

He is close to graduating, his final thesis already turned in and his final exams already written, his grades already known by every single relative he has, no matter how close or how distant because his grandparents couldn't stop gushing about his results, needing to let everyone know. Technically, he has graduated already, he's only got to wait two more weeks until the official graduation ceremony where he will be given his degree.

As part of the performing arts department, his last big task was to take part in the graduation performance. He and his fellow students naturally have the obligation to present their abilities in rest of the university's curious student body, as well as all the guests who are interested in coming. Of course there are the students' families, but no matter how exhausting and tedious the preparation of the event is, it also provides an excellent opportunity for the graduates to get a foot in the door with the business right away since scouts from various entertainment companies always attend these graduation shows as well on the search for fresh talents.

Yixing has received a few offers from companies based in Beijing, another few from Shanghai and Guangzhou, but since nothing about them really strikes Yixing as interesting, he doesn't pay them much heed, instead only going through the four offers he got from places in Changsha. He has also sent out a few applications, but before he isn't holding his degree in his hands, he can't do anything anyways, so right now his main task is to wait.

It's not his forte, to sit around and do nothing, but he must admit he likes the lazy mornings. Since Yifan's school is also close to their spring holidays, the students are writing exams and are not having regular classes all the time, which means that on the days where Yifan is teaching in the afternoon, he can come in an hour later than on those where his classes are in the morning.

The tall catboy loves sleep to the degree that a perfect weekend consists of being able to stay in bed until noon, drifting between awareness and unconsciousness for hours. It's something Yixing can't do, his urge to do _something_ driving him out of the warm covers around eight or nine o'clock at latest. That's why even now, that he technically doesn't have any tasks anymore, his body clock still wakes him up before Yifan's alarm can ring.

Yixing doesn't mind it, though; he rather greets it with open arms, because there is a special joy in being able to watch Yifan sleep, being able to smell the scent the other always emits when he's completely relaxed, and Yixing values the time when he can reciprocate the other's embrace and spend a few minutes in the early morning thinking about nothing else but the feeling of comfort lying in bed with the hybrid like this brings.

Not much time passes, then Yifan's alarm goes off, and the catboy awakes with a groan that's followed by a whine of reluctance, clinging to the fleeting remains of his dreams as the noise drags him back into reality. The way Yifan turns into a complaining kitten again when he's being woken up never fails to make Yixing chuckle, and gently tracing the soft fur around Yifan's ears always gets the hybrid to switch from noises of discontent to a delicate purr that's half a good morning greeting and half an encouragement to continue.

It's with a bit of difficulty, but they eventually both manage to peel themselves out of bed, Yixing making his way for the kitchen as Yifan disappears into the bathroom for his usual morning shower. The younger prepares their breakfast, nothing overly fancy, but since he's in not too much of a rush he can take his time with it. When the catboy enters the kitchen, their dining table is already set with steaming bowls of rice and the small dishes Yixing prepared. They don't talk much while eating, Yifan never too fond of conversations in the morning but Yixing doesn't mind at all. The silence between is comfortable, the slightly tinny voice coming from the radio the only noise filling the small room.

Yixing accompanies Yifan to school, the way he has been doing ever since his lectures stopped, claiming that it gives him a purpose and some exercise in the morning. He considers dropping by his gym after he has parted ways with Yifan, but he decides that since he'll have a job interview on the next day, he'd rather give one of his recent compositions the final touch.

It's barely past eleven when his phone dings with the notification of a new mail in his inbox, and it's an instinct more than it is true interest that prompts him to immediately swipe his thumb across the screen to read the message. When he eyes the subject line however, his heart stops for a beat and he reads it three times because he can't believe his eyes, sure that there must be some kind of catch, that he's dreaming or that the mail was accidentally to his address when it was intended to someone else.

Of course that's not the case, since his name is written right there, as is his the name of his university, and when he finally gathers the courage to actually open its contents, the mail speaks of his graduation performance, and how he caught the eye of one of the talent scouts present during that evening. He gasps for air when he makes it to the end of the mail, the burning in his lungs the only way he notices that he's been holding his breath while reading it. His heart is racing in his chest as if he's spent hours practicing a particularly tricky part of a choreography as he scans the words again, but their content remains the same.

The mail in front of him contains a job offer from what he and his colleagues consider the best company in their field of business, and Yixing can't believe that their scouts not only saw him, but the company actually wants him to work for them, offering him a position based on the performance he put on during that night a week ago, and Yixing's stomach feels queasy with a mixture of excitement and the feeling that this is too big for him.

He wants to tell his parents and Yifan, immediately, but he doesn't even manage to open their family's group chat before his fingers still. As much as he wants to share this joy, there is one downside to the whole matter. Yixing had already decided to stay in Changsha, close to his parents and remaining in the settled life he's been leading with Yifan. This company, however, is located in Shanghai. It means that, if he were to accept the job offer, his whole life would change.

In the afternoon, he drives to Yifan's school in the second-hand car his parents got him for his 21st birthday to pick the catboy up. The car is old, has its particularities, and Yixing for the dear life of him doesn't want to have to drive during Changsha's rush hours, but he loves the freedom it gives him to do weekend trips together with Yifan, or to be able to get around the city even after the trains have already stopped for the night.

Yifan is already waiting for him at the school gate, and he gets into the car as soon as he has waved goodbye to his co-workers. He greets Yixing with a wide smile, the way he always does, thanking him for coming all the way to pick him up. The younger tries to shoot a smile back at him, but it's unsure around the edges. When Yixing puts the car back to drive, Yifan's expression falls, his forehead furrowing in concern. He has immediately noticed that Yixing didn't ruffle the catboy's hair in the way he usually does by means of greeting Yifan back from work. The younger wanted to keep the job offer a secret for as long as it takes him to decide on what he wants to do, but he knows that he's bad at keeping things from Yifan, the catboy having a way of seeing through him even when Yixing makes an effort to prevent him from doing so.

In the end, he can't hold his words in when Yifan asks him with concern if there's something wrong, if there's something worrying him. Yixing ends up telling him that there is a job offer he got that morning, and that it's been preoccupying his mind. He spills to the hybrid about it being from a company based in Shanghai, and that the job itself sounds very interesting, but that he's still very undecided. It's the truth, and since he got so many job offers from many different cities in China, Yifan doesn't seem put much thought into this one. He congratulates Yixing on having yet another company wants him, but then the feline side in him quickly resurfaces. After having had to concentrate at work all day, he just wants to curl around Yixing, wants the younger to pet him while he can purr against Yixing's chest, playfully biting his arm when he feels like it and soothing his tongue out over the aggravated spot immediately after.

Their usual afternoon ritual takes Yixing's mind off of the matter, and for a few hours he lets himself indulge in everything Yifan, soaking up the easy comfort of the other's presence provides him with. But no matter how easily the catboy brushed over the topic, the job offer stays in the back of Yixing's mind.

It's the hardest decision Yixing ever had to made, but in the end his choice is clear. This kind of job offer is something a freshly graduated student usually can only dream of, and he'd be one step closer to his goal of being able to support his parents by shouldering pretty much all of his and Yifan's living costs.

The conditions of the job are amazing, as are the promotion prospects. For Yixing in the last two years, his desire to work as a choreographer has been ever growing, and this is the absolute best company in the whole business. It does, however, mean that Yixing has to move to Shanghai, leaving Changsha and all its familiarity behind. Worse even, it means leaving the preschool and kindergarten Yifan is teaching at behind.

The catboy doesn't say with words just how attached he is to his job and the work environment he managed to find after months of fruitless searching. Despite the advances in hybrid rights the last few decades have brought, it is still unbelievably hard for a hybrid to find a job unrelated to either the entertainment industry or activities like waiting tables in a coffee shop or standing behind the checkout at some supermarket or Konbini. Many schools, way too many, are reluctant to give something as important as a position of teaching young children to a hybrid, arguing that that development stage is crucial and therefore they must employ the best person possible.

A stupid excuse, a baseless assumption that hybrids are not mentally fit to be teaching and Yixing had gotten angry on Yifan's behalf more times than he could care to count. Of course, hybrids do tend to have shorter attention spans than humans, and they occasionally react to scents and noises in an instinctual way, but that still doesn't mean it is impossible for them to perform the same work a human can.

Yifan is the best example for that. If anything, Yixing thinks he might be even better fit for the teaching position than any human is. He's patient, calm and the kids absolutely adore his silver hair, ears and the tail that always swishes around in excitement when one of them answers his questions correctly. The kindergarten group he's entrusted with usually huddles around him when he teaches them how to count to ten in English, or how to introduce themselves, and he lets them pet his head by means of saying goodbye when the class is over. Really, there is no more perfect occupation for Yifan, and Yixing, for the dear life of him, can't see Yifan losing it.

Never would he have thought that he would get at the point where he would have to decide between his own wishes and ambitions and Yifan. As a child it all seemed so easy, it was his decision to be Yifan's protector, so he would protect Yifan until the very end. When he moved in with Yifan, or rather Yifan moved in with him, everything seemed decided, settled. This was exactly how things would stay for the rest of their life, both of them together.

But graduating meant taking step into adult life Yixing thought he had already taken when he moved out and had to start taking care of himself. More than that is means however that decisions are no longer one-dimensional, there's no longer a simple "does it bring me closer to my goal or not?". Rather it was a question of priorities, about whether his multiple goals even fit together.

In this case, they don't and Yixing spends night over night tossing around in bed while sleep evades him in favour of his brain bringing up the same question over and over again, making him go through the pro's and con's and all possible consequences of his potential decisions.

He makes his decision with a heavy heart, and the guilt rests in his stomach like a heavy stone, making him feel sick. When he tells Yifan about his plans, about accepting the job offer, the catboy's body stills completely, as if he's in shock or unable to come up with a proper response.

Even though it tears Yixing apart internally, he still knows that it's important for Yifan to continue his work. The words taste like lead on his tongue, and he almost wants to gag around them, or swallow them right back down to not even give Yifan a choice and selfishly just take the hybrid with him to Shanghai. But he can't, he is selfish enough by making this decision, he can't take the choice from Yifan on top of that. So he forces out that there is the possibility for Yifan to remain, that he can move in back with Yixing's parents again and commute to his school from there.

Yifan looks hesitant, as if he wants to refuse right on the spot. They already tried that separation thing when they were 18 and 19 respectively, and neither likes remembering it. His ears fold back against his head as he bites lower lip to prevent the words of rejecting Yixing's offer from spilling out, and the internal battle Yixing witnesses is enough for him to think that he knows what's best for the catboy. He leans forward, brushing his hand through Yifan's hair, his fingers gliding along the taller's soft ears gently as he leans forward to brush his lips against Yifan's forehead, like he's used to doing whenever Yifan's upset ever since they were still children.

"Take your time to think about it, Fan. I will support you with whatever choice you make," he says in a silent voice, looking the catboy straight in the eyes and hoping that he could transport some of his guilt through them for putting Yifan into this situation.

Yifan is simultaneously withdrawn and even needier for cuddles for the next four days, and Yixing doesn't question, doesn't push him in any direction but rather gives the catboy whatever he wants, might that be silence or pressing close together on the couch while Yifan rubs his head against Yixing's shoulder, scenting him when there's nothing to cover up to begin with. They don't speak much during that time, but Yixing can see the gears in Yifan's head turning as he contemplates pros and cons, tries to discern whether he is willing to sacrifice the job he loves in order to be with Yixing. The younger man has never felt more guilty in his whole life than when he sees Yifan struggle, knowing he's the one who upset the balance they found.

On the fifth day, Yifan comes to him, shoulders slumped, tail curled around his thigh and ears drooping. Yixing feels his heart sink, despite all the mental preparation he got because he _knew_ Yifan was going to choose this, but he forces a smile on his face. If anything, he has to make this as easy for Yifan as possible, showing him that his decision won't change Yixing's feelings at all. With a silent voice Yifan tells him that he won't be able to follow Yixing to Shanghai, that he can't just leave his kids in the middle of the school year. Yixing nods, and rises to encase Yifan in a hug he hopes is comforting.

"It'll be fine, Fan," he whispers, his hands gliding up and down Yifan's back, "I'll make sure to come by and visit as often as possible, and this doesn't have to be forever. We'll make it work for as long as it lasts." Yifan, by means of replying, just wraps himself around Yixing like a cocoon.

 

-o-

 

The weeks until his move fly past within the blink of an eye, and before Yixing knows it, he's already standing at the airport, two suitcases already checked in, leaving him with nothing but his worn out purple backpack and the feeling like he's about to throw up settled in his stomach. He already said his goodbye to his parents, tearful on their side and carefully controlled on his, so now all that's left is to part with the catboy. Yifan doesn't cry, so Yixing tells himself he won't either. What he fears the most is that Yifan will grow distant, or that he will resent Yixing for being selfish. If he were to look at the younger with cold disinterest, Yixing wouldn't even be able to blame him.

Yifan is wearing that blue sweater, which makes everything better and a million times worse at the same time. It speaks of Yifan still trusting Yixing to keep his promise, that he'll keep holding on to everything being with Yixing means to him. Yet, at the same time, it reminds Yixing that with every kilometer between them he's not fulfilling the duty he'd swore to fulfill all his life.

"I'm sorry." is what he wants to say, but the words die on his tongue; he doesn't want their parting to taste like stale, meaningless apologies. He made the choice, and now he has to stick with it. So instead he moves closer, carefully, keeping an open eye for any signs that Yifan might not want such intimacy right then, but the catboy remains rooted to the ground. His softening gaze is the only indication of him actually welcoming the touch when Yixing winds his arms around Yifan's waist pulling himself close to the taller's body, resting his head against Yifan's broad chest.

It still surprises him at times just how much Yifan has grown, how much he has changed from the small, slender boy he used to be when Yixing first saw him. Changed physically, that is, because when Yifan folds around him just like he always does, lowering his head until it's resting on Yixing's shoulder, giving him a chance to inhale his own scent clinging to the younger's skin, Yixing knows that on the inside Yifan is still the same.

"I will be back in a month," Yixing promises, already having booked his first plane tickets back home right after he made his decision. A month seems awfully long, but Yixing reasons that it's better than nothing. They will be able to make it through a month at least without seeing each other, he tries to persuade himself. He feels Yifan nod against his shoulder in silent response.

Then it's time to part for real, Yixing already having to hurry to make it through security and to his gate for boarding. He feels a little overdramatic, having to fight tears as he steps away. They're both grown adults at that point, he's no longer eight years old, and neither is he losing Yifan, nor is this goodbye the end of the world. It's a shame that telling himself that like a mantra, over and over again does not help with dissipating the tightness in his chest at all. The middle-aged woman who is sitting in the seat next to him gives him a tissue thirty minutes into the flight because he keeps on sniffling, and only then does he realize that his vision is slightly clouded by the tears brimming in his eyes. He accepts it with a smile, hoping to reassure the lady who looks at him with a doubtful gaze but doesn't prod any further. In the end she gives him the whole package, telling him in a motherly tone that he seems to need it more than she does. Even though he wants to refuse, he has to agree with her because the tears keep reappearing. He reasons it's his own fault though, since he keeps on looking at the picture he took of Yifan in the aiport, wanting to have a reminder of how the catboy looks like wearing the sweater Yixing gifted him years ago. When they land, his eyes burn and Yixing can't help but wonder whether he's slightly masochistic for being unable to stop looking at his phone.

It takes him around two hours to make it from the airport to his new home because in his haze he accidentally gets onto the wrong subway, having to take a detour as soon as he realizes his mistake. He doesn't even take note of the restaurant selling his favourite dish right at the beginning of the street, or the quaint little coffee shop because he's simply exhausted, and all he wants is to finally fall into bed.

He thanks the heavens when he eventually unlocks the flat and discovers that his future company had already arranged for the most essential furniture to be present, so all he needs to do is take off his shoes, drop his suitcases unceremoniously in the hallway and trudge towards the single room at the far end of the flat. The apartment is small, smaller even than the one he used to live in with Yifan but he feels as if it's size is almost unbearably big, and he doesn't know how he's supposed to fill all this space.

 _A few pictures on the walls, a bit more furniture and this will be really nice,_ he tries to comfort himself, but the words don't really have any effect on his mood. He's never been very good at deluding himself. Getting into bed that night is something he dreads, because he already knows that he will feel cold no matter how warm he sets the AC.

He video calls his parents before he goes to sleep, with the excuse of reassuring them that everything went well and he's settled into his new home as best as he can. In reality he just wants to see Yifan. He surprisingly manages to keep his composure, but he still sleeps with one of Yifan's favourite shirts as night wear, having stolen it from the catboy's cupboard in a spur-of-the-moment decision when he was packing his last bag yesterday night, unable to resist the temptation. At least it smells like home, even when neither the flat nor the bed feel like it at all.

 

-o-

 

His work starts right away the next morning, since he wanted to put his move off as long as he could. The weariness of the travel and the lingering sense of sadness still sits in his bones when he forces his eyes open, and even though he's not a coffee drinker he still stops by the shop on the corner of his street in order to get a dose of caffeine, since he doesn't know whether he'll make it through the day without it.

The work is stressful, to say the least, but it's everything Yixing could have hoped for. It keeps him on his toes, and he welcomes it with open arms. His coworkers praise his commitment to his new position, while at the same time cautioning him to not overdo it. Yixing thanks them for their concern, and continues taking on as many tasks as he can. He reasons it's for the sake of making the best out of the chance he's been given, of proving himself worthy, when in reality he's just trying to avoid having to go back to his flat.

After three weeks, he still has neither bought any more furniture to fill up the space nor put up any sort of decoration to make it feel more homely. It helps, being able to throw himself headfirst into work, but below the surface he begins to notice cracks he can't make any sense of.

When the fourth weekend finally rolls around, bringing with it his plane flight home, to see his parents and Yifan, he is only half as excited as he thought he'd be. He's looking forward to seeing them all, of course he is, he's been feeling as if he's been physically aching with desire to meet them, but at the same time he's afraid, terrified of wounds being torn open which he believes to be just about to heal. He already knows that once he’s in Changsha, he’ll not want to return back to Shanghai, the comfort of his home too tempting in comparison with the cold of the city that still makes him feel like a stranger. It's not like he has any choice though, his promise with Yifan having to be protected.

His family is there to pick him up from the airport at past 11 p.m. when his plane was delayed, and his mother is crying when she pulls him into a hug so tight that he feels like she might crush his ribcage. She might be one and a half heads smaller than him, but she's probably stronger than he is. He's tempted to remind her that he's 23 already, and that he was gone for a mere month, but he reasons that it's a parent's thing to do so he doesn't say anything and just returns her hug until she's willing to let go of him. Yixing's father follows his wife's suit, although his hug lacks her strength, desperation and duration.

Then it's his turn to face Yifan, and Yixing wishes he didn't firsthand see the circles under the other's eyes he can usually conveniently attribute to the bad quality of their video calls. Yifan, for a lack of better words, doesn't look good, and Yixing wonders whether he's reflecting his own state. He knows he's lost a little weight since he moved out, and that his irregular sleeping schedule didn't have exactly have the best effect on his skin either. But what hurts the most is to see that Yifan hesitates slightly, and his tail swishes in a display of indecisiveness. Fear grabs at his heart in that moment, fear that they've grown apart in the short span of a month, and Yixing feels his breathing still in anticipation as he takes a step towards the hybrid.

"Yifan..." he says, his tone more unsure than he wants it too, but he can't help fearing rejection. Yifan, however, doesn't move away. He just also doesn't move closer, waiting until Yixing can reach out to touch his hand against the catboy's cheek. "I kept my promise," he says, and the words sounding too dramatic even for his own ears, as if coming back after a month took a lot of effort.

They make Yifan crack a smile however, so he can't bring himself to regret them. "You did," the catboy agrees, and Yixing mirrors his expression when Yifan nuzzles into the palm of his hand like he used to do when he was still a lot younger.

The initial awkwardness falls away quickly, and by the time they've hefted Yixing slightly-heavier-than-necessary overnight bag into the car's trunk and have taken off to battle Changsha's late night traffic, Yifan's all over Yixing. Yixing hears his parents chuckle silently as Yifan rubs his head all over Yixing, a constant string of complaints about Yixing smelling all wrong leaving his mouth as he works on scenting Yixing all throughout their 45 minutes drive back home.

By the time they arrive, Yifan looks mighty pleased with himself while Yixing's stomach hurts and he's gasping for air because he laughed too much, Yifan's tongue and breath too tickling against his neck and all of actions too much of a reminder of 15-year-old Yifan who had refused to go to bed with Yixing before he hadn't cleaned every tiny bit of the scent of Yixing's friend off of him when the human teen returned from staying over at a classmate's place for a night.

Yixing spends the rest of the weekend doing nothing but lazing around, because Yifan doesn't want to do much else, and all Yixing wants from the time at home is to be around the people he's missed so dearly while he was gone. So he watches reruns of that Chinese soap opera his mother loves with Yifan's tail curled around his upper arm while the hybrid purrs against his shoulder, and he listens to the catboy tell stories about his children in the dead of the night while they're tangled together under the sheets, soaking up all the closeness they both didn't have over the weeks of being separated.

Within the span of 38 hours Yixing feels his resources be refilled, all the exhaustion and queasy feelings he seemed to be unable to get rid off for a whole months disappearing and leaving him able to breathe freely for the first time in what feels like forever. He doesn't even really notice how he's not leaving Yifan's side at all until his parent's point it out, but he just smiles and reaches up to ruffle Yifan's hair and ears. "This giant baby here just missed me too much," he explains, and grins widely when Yifan huffs and protests, saying he was completely fine on his own. He wasn't, and neither was Yixing, but he doesn't point that out in favour of simply laughing.

As much as the weekend feels like heaven, obviously it has to come to an end, and before Yixing knows it he's experiencing an overwhelming sense of déjà vu, standing at the airport again and having to say goodbye. This time there are no suitcases he will have to pick up in Shanghai, and he is not in the danger of accidentally getting into the wrong subway. No one's crying this time either, although Yixing's mother's eyes are glistening with tears, but they don't spill. He hugs them all tight when it's time for him to get to his gate, his mother, his father and Yifan, and it's easier to keep a bright smile on his face this time, the giddy energy still singing in his veins. Of course it hurts to wave goodbye and walk through the ticket gates to where his parents and Yifan can't follow, perhaps it even hurts as badly as Yixing had thought it would, but when he boards the plane he's filled to the brim with optimism. Perhaps it's just a matter of getting used to being separated, perhaps it will all work out as long as he gets to go back home in regular intervals to soak up enough closeness to last him until the next time.

 

-o-

 

Nothing turns out okay, much to Yixing's distress. He tries his best to live off the memories, and off the pretty much daily video calls, but both his mood and his physical condition deteriorate much faster than he would ever have expected. Just like before, he throws himself into work, but that's something he has been doing all his life. He has been just as dedicated during his university time, worked just as hard as he was doing his internships, and it doesn't make any sense to him why it should be taking such a toll on him now when it didn't before.

Not knowing any other way, he tries to fight his bad mood with even more work, but his plan doesn't work out. It doesn't make him feel worse, but it also doesn't make him feel better. He's having troubles sleeping, and while he's managed to make friends at work, he still feels as if there's a gaping hole in his heart and he doesn't know what to do about it.

If travelling by plane, it only takes two hours from Shanghai to Changsha, but that is the pure time he's up in the air. On top of that he needs at least an hour to get to the airport in the first place, having to arrive there an hour before his flight departs if he wants to play it safe, and at least another 30 minutes to make it through customs and back out to the airport lobby, and then he still has to drive to his parents' home. All in all, from door to door it takes him five hours on a good day and more than six on a bad one, so as much as he would love to take the trip back to Changsha every weekend, his busy schedule (and tight budget) doesn't allow him to, and before he knows it, even monthly visits are impossible.

Whenever he does manage to make it home, the stinging in his chest disappears, and he can breathe freely again, but as soon as he arrives back in his flat, the effect only lasts for a few hours, a day or two perhaps if he's lucky, then he's back to struggling with mood swings he never before experienced, and he goes through days when his stomach feels so uneasy that he doesn't want to eat anything.

Luhan, one of the artists at work he befriended pretty early on, looks at him with particular worry in his eyes during these days, and Yixing almost questions why, when Luhan has only ever known him in the stricken state he has been in ever since coming to Shanghai. Then again, he has days when he feels better and days where it's worse, and he truly loves his work with all his heart. It's all the more reason for him to wonder what the heck is wrong with living in Shanghai, why he can't seem to get into gear in his new home.

In attempt to turn his flat more livable, he even goes shop for small interior design items together with Zitao, one of their company's costume designers. Luhan trudges along, claiming that the tall blond needs someone to dampen his enthusiasm when it comes to extravagance. It turns out to be for the better, and to Yixing's utter surprise he's very satisfied with the result. And yet, despite his newfound liking for the interior of his flat, and the undeniably warm feeling it should emit, he doesn't feel anything change. As soon as his two friends are out of the door, the coldness returns and Yixing feels something like annoyance well up in within him. He's trying his best at settling, isn't he? As a 23 year old he should be very well capable of living by himself.

When they're out at a bar for an after-work beer one night, Yixing, already not exactly sober anymore, courtesy of his low alcohol tolerance, confesses the troubles he's been having with finding the feeling of home in Shanghai, and how he's constantly feeling as if there's something missing, his flat always being cold.

Luhan, already on his third White Russian and therefore decidedly tipsy as well, asks Yixing outright when he got laid the last time, and whether he has already considered finding a significant other to bring a bit of life into the flat that feels too empty no matter how much furniture Yixing places into it. The younger man surprises himself with how quickly and vehemently he shoots Luhan's suggestions down, even though he knows very well that sex works wonders on dispersing stress. And he has worked out by now that it must be stress that's causing his stomach to be upset and his sleep to be restless.

"There are a lot of pretty girls in Shanghai, you know," Luhan presses on, unwilling to let Yixing brush over the topic like that. "I swear, the beauty-rate here is like five times as high as in Beijing, let me tell you. Perhaps we should go clubbing together, I know places that will make you think you died and went to heaven because there are so many angels around."

Yixing cocks an unimpressed eyebrow at him. "You've really been writing too many cheesy love songs, Han," is his only comment before he takes another gulp of his drink, a rather nasty mix of ice tea and Jack Daniel's, but he's already past the point of caring about the burn in his throat.

For a moment Luhan is silent, and Yixing almost thinks he might have gotten out of having this talk just like that, but then the lavender haired male leans a bit closer and narrows his eyes as he scrutinizes Yixing. "You don't really sound excited at the prospect of mingling with pretty girls," he notes, and Yixing already knows what the other is going to say when he opens his mouth next. "Are pretty girls not your thing?"

"No, no, pretty girls are nice," Yixing replies, and Luhan's eyebrow shoots up to join his hairline.

"That doesn't sound very convincing, my dear Yixing," the elder says in teasing tone, before slinging his arm around Yixing's shoulder. Up this close Yixing can see how diluted the other's pupils are, and he can smell the alcohol in Luhan's breath, though he knows he must be in a pretty similar state. When Luhan speaks next, he's completely serious. "You know, I'm very open minded. If girls are not your thing, you can tell me. I won't judge or treat you any differently."

Yixing's lips stretch into a smile, and for the nth time he feels unbelievably glad to have found a friend like Luhan. "Thanks, that's good to hear, but it's really not about the gender."

"Oh, so you swing both ways?" Luhan asks, his interest obviously piqued, before his eyes widen as another thought comes to his mind, "or do you perhaps swing neither way?"

The elder looks so curious and shocked at the same time, that Yixing can't help but laugh, and he guesses it's half Luhan's expression's fault and half the alcohol's. He tells his co-worker that he doesn't really look at gender when measuring a person's attractiveness, and the next 30 minutes Luhan spends with pestering him about what physical or character traits he's attracted to. Yixing laughs at most of the questions, and says that it depends on the person and a multitude of conditions. Luhan, in turn, suggests that they should just go out clubbing together either way, so that Yixing can simply point out to him which people he'd take home and which he wouldn't.

"Really Lu, it's fine. I'm not looking for anyone right now," Yixing interrupts Luhan when the elder seems about ready to drag him off to a club to get him laid right then and there.

It has Luhan still in the middle of a sentence, and he studies Yixing with that scrutinizing gaze again that makes Yixing feel as if the other can see his very soul. "Say, Yixing, do you have someone waiting for you back in Changsha by any chance?"

"I-" Yixing starts, but then stops as there suddenly are thoughts of Yifan flooding his mind, and he suddenly has the desire to end his answer with "do" instead of "don't" like he had originally intended to. Luhan raises an expectant eyebrow at him when the younger doesn't continue, and Yixing shakes his head shortly to get out of his trance. "I don't."

"That answer took you awfully long," the elder notes, and the suspicion seeping from his whole expression, and Yixing can't even blame him. He is surprised himself that he hesitated.

He makes it back home with the last train, successfully having talked Luhan out of the clubbing for the night, and when he makes it home the alcohol still buzzing in his veins makes the flat feel only half as cold and twice as empty at the same time. He's been unable to get the thoughts of Yifan out of his head for the whole evening, so when he falls into bed, his fingers automatically move on his phone until he finds the Skype function. It's close to midnight, but it doesn't even take two rings before Yifan is picking up Yixing's call. The catboy looks sleepy, his hair slightly disheveled, his ears lazily twitching, and Yixing can make out the shape of his pillow below his head.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" he asks in a whisper, knowing exactly that Yifan likes to go to sleep early, even when he sleeps in the next morning.

"Kinda," the catboy's deep voice rumbles, and Yixing recalls how he'd be able to feel the vibrations from it when he rested his head against Yifan's chest. He has to bite his lower lip in an attempt to get his feelings back under control, even though he doesn't even know what kind of feelings that are. Yifan, unaware of Yixing's internal battle, yawns, exposing his canines that are slightly longer than Yixing's, forming little fangs. It has Yixing smile, even as his eyes water a little.

"Sorry," he apologizes, and Yifan just hums in acceptance, his eyes blinking rapidly as if he's fighting to stay awake. Yixing wants to tell him that it's okay to go to sleep again, that he didn't mean to disrupt his nightly routine to begin with but instead he blurts out, "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Yifan whispers back, his voice gentle and laced with drowsiness and it makes Yixing curl into a ball on top of the covers, the arm that isn't holding his phone wrapping around his knees as if hugging himself can warm him up, when the room temperature is not the problem at all.

They don't really talk much at all, one or two words here, a short sentence there. Both of them are exhausted, and Yixing wonders whether Yifan can tell the alcohol rushing through his veins. If he can, he doesn't mention it, instead indulging Yixing in the meaningless chitchat the younger needs. After a while, their conversation falls into a natural lull, and Yixing eventually falls asleep to the sound of Yifan's soft snoring, his phone resting beside his head on the pillow.

 

 -o-

 

After that night, Luhan starts setting him up on blind dates, even though the elder doesn't admit to it. Yixing grows wary of whenever Luhan calls him up to come try out that new restaurant he found around their neighbourhood with some friends of his, or watch that new movie that's been getting amazing reviews, because the instances are piling up where Luhan suddenly becomes unable to attend with sudden headaches or urgent deadlines, leaving Yixing alone with whatever friend Luhan invited for the night.

They are all nice people, interesting for sure, and on a similar attractiveness level as Luhan himself is, but Yixing can't develop a liking to any of them. He tries to in the beginning, he really does, going into each blind-date with an open mind and primed to perfection. However neither the dating nor the occasional make-out sessions on car seats or at his front door helps him feel any better. On the opposite hand, having some girls perfume cling to his clothes afterwards, or having the memory of some guy's fingers in his hair tingle against his scalp, makes him feel sick to the stomach when he thinks about how mad Yifan would be at all the foreign scents clinging to his clothes and body.

These nights always end with Yixing showering way longer than necessary, using all the Yifan-approved body washes he still keeps on buying out of habit even though he only sees Yifan on a monthly basis, if he's lucky. Afterwards he slips Yifan's shirt on, always exchanging the one he has with him for a new one whenever he's home to keep the smell fresh, and when he falls into bed, he feels like the tight ball of stress has only curled tighter in his stomach.

Eventually even Luhan seems to agree that setting Yixing up with random people won't be the cure to his bad mood, so he switches over to arranging real meetings with friends, inviting two or three other people and coming along himself as well. Yixing is way more grateful for these relaxed evenings spent in bars, but they only provide temporary relief.

Yixing is very close to wondering whether he should consult a doctor or psychologist, when he receives an unexpected phone call from his father one nights. Since his move to Shanghai, almost seven months has passed already, and seeing his display flash with his father's name, Yixing suddenly realizes that he hasn't had the chance to go home in over two months.

"Hello, Baba?" he answers the phone, slight confusion tinting his voice because usually his parents don't call him out of the blue, knowing that Yixing's working hours tend to be quite irregular and they don't dare interrupt the little sleep their son usually gets. So Yixing knows it's important when his father throws all caution to the wind and calls him either way. He instantly feels his heart with the fear that something bad has happened at home.

"Yixing, son, how are you doing?" his father asks on the other end of the line, and can hear the strain of him trying to be casual when there obviously is something that's worrying him.

"I'm doing okay," Yixing replies, unable to downright lie to his parents but also not wanting them to know how much of a hard time he's having. "Work's been a bit busier than usual as of lately," he continues by means of explanation, but then he's unable to hold his curiosity back, "Why are you calling, Ba?"

He hears his father sigh, followed by a short pause as the man gathers his words. "It's about Yifan," he eventually says, and Yixing swears he stops breathing for a second as dread clutches his stomach tightly.

"What about Yifan?" he asks, his voice shaking slightly he doesn't even bother clearing his throat in an attempt to steady it before continuing, "Is something wrong with him? Is he sick? Did he get hurt? Should I come over? If it's an emergency I'm sure I can get my boss to give me a few days off, I-"

"Yixing," his father interrupts him, making Yixing shut his mouth before any more words can spill out.

He will only find out why his father called if he allows him to speak, so he nods to indicate he's listening, only realizing on second thought that his father can't see him, "Okay, I'm listening."

"I really didn't want to have to tell you about this, because I know you're very busy, but I'm afraid it's gotten to a point where I can't just look past it anymore. Also I think you have a right to know."

A million scenarios form in Yixing's head against his will, pictures of Yifan being bedridden by some terrible illness that worsened rapidly, or the catboy with broken bones and battered after getting into an accident or, and he surprises himself by the thought, the idea of Yifan having found a mate and, after a few months of courtship, having decided to move in with his new lifetime partner. He tells himself that it's of no use to let his imagination run wild when he should rather let his father finish talking, but the influx of images is so sudden and strong that he can't fight it.

"Yixing? Are you still there?" His father's voice breaks him from his internal battle, and Yixing snaps back to reality, shaking his head in a futile attempt to chase away the numbing fears clouding his mind.

"I am," he reassures his father that he hasn't gone anywhere, "Please, tell me, what's wrong with Yifan?"

"I don't really know how to best phrase this," another sigh, and Yixing can clearly hear the worry in the older man's voice when he continues, "Yifan really hasn't been doing well ever since you left. It was obvious from the beginning, but it's gotten worse. At first we thought it were just normal separation issues. You two have been together for almost 15 years, and we thought Yifan was simply missing the person he had bonded the closest with, and we hoped that this wound was one time could heal."

Me too, Yixing wants to say, I thought the same, I have been miserable as well and nothing has helped. He stays silent however, able to tell there's still more from the way his father is making these small humming sounds that always indicate he's thinking intently.

"Also... this might sound really weird, and I hope I'm not making things uncomfortable between you and Yifan by telling you this, but when he last went into heat two weeks ago I heard him whimper your name, and not only once."

"W-what?" Yixing croaks out, the sinking feeling of dread suddenly making way to the heady rush of a mixture of embarrassment and, incongruously, a hint of arousal at the idea of Yifan, in the middle of finding relief for the heat burning under his skin, thinking of Yixing. He scolds himself for it, since he really has more important things to focus on at the moment, like the fact that Yifan's apparently not doing well.

"Yeah, I hope you're not too embarrassed to hear that from your father's mouth instead of getting Yifan to tell it to you yourself, but I think even Yifan isn't fully aware of what that means. And before I talk to him about it, I needed to tell you, so you have time to let these things sink in. I don't know if you've even heard of the concept before, but does imprinting ring a bell with you?"

Yixing makes a sound of  noncommittal sound that's half recognition and half question.There is something at the back of his mind, a memory of something he heard or read a long time ago, but he can't quite reach it, so he asks his father to continue.

"Well, there are a lot of different meanings to imprinting, depending on the context. It's not exactly normal for hybrids to imprint on someone. It happens, but it's rather on the rare than on the common side. When it happens though, it essentially means that a hybrid has found their mate, the partner they will spend their life with. The effects of it aren't really visible as long as the hybrid and its mate are together, as they will both simply display what could also be seen as a very close friendship or very happy relationship, but it's easy to tell once they're apart. For hybrids, imprinting means developing a strong sense of dependency. Being away from the one they imprinted on will have detrimental effects on both their psychological and physical condition, as the distance seems to drain their energy bit by bit. Usually imprinting occurs between two hybrids, but there have reportedly been cases where hybrids who only had contact with humans for most of their life have also imprinted on humans."

It's really not difficult to connect the dots between the first part of their conversation and the explanations on imprinting, but Yixing still refuses to jump to conclusions when a tiny bit of doubt remains. "So you're trying to say..." he starts, letting his sentence trail off on purpose to let his father complete it.

"That I think that Yifan has imprinted himself on you. Sure, I could be wrong, we've only ever had imprinting happen like two or three times at the shelter, but it really sounds like the most reasonable explanation to me as for why Yifan is suffering as much as he does. You don't see it, because whenever he's with you he's normal again, his spirits lifted but as soon as you're gone he constantly seems to be dragging a boulder around with him for how easily he tires and how slouched he walks. Which only works to support my theory. I don't know when it happened, but thinking back on the time you first moved out, it seems like he imprinted himself on you pretty early on. Are you still with me so far?"

Yixing isn't quite sure whether he is, everything after "I think Yifan has imprinted himself on you" a bit of a fuzzy mess rather than a clear sound in his head, but he reasons that he's caught the most important part. It's surprising for him how easy it is to accept that, to come to the conclusion that yes, like this everything would make sense. The emptiness, the longing, the coldness and the total lack of things getting better no matter how much time passes. It all fits the pattern, and Yixing wonders how he didn't see it earlier. In the middle of matching everything he now recalls about imprinting from his biology lessons on hybrids back in school, he comes to a sudden halt however.

"Wait, is there something like reverse imprinting? Can humans also imprint back on the hybrids who have imprinted on them?" he asks, as he remembers that imprinting only used to apply to hybrids, never to humans. It has been a while since he sat behind his desk at school, only half listening to what his teacher was droning on about as he was busy passing notes back and forth with a fellow classmate of his, so he doesn't recall everything precisely even though it would be the perfect explanation for his current condition.

"Reverse imprinting?" his father repeats, and Yixing is able to immediately tell from his tone that that's not a concept the older man has ever heard of before. "I do not think there's something like that. Humans work differently from hybrids, our anatomy, while similar in some points, is fundamentally different in others. I do not think our physiology lends itself to linking us so closely to another person that being away from them calls on the physical symptom being away from their imprinted one does for hybrids," his father explains, then stills for a moment and makes a small sound in the back of his throat, "Although now that I think of it, I guess you could liken these symptoms to these people experience when they are lovesick? The effects are stronger for imprinted hybrids, but someone who is lovesick does display similar physical and mental problem, so I guess falling in love with someone is what could be called reverse imprinting."

When his father's voice trails off, Yixing continues to be silent, the words still replaying in his mind, as if he needs to review them thoroughly before they can settle in with him. It's ridiculous, because it's so simple actually, the most simple and obvious explanation and it's laughable that Yixing hasn't been able to connect the dots to form the obvious picture. He's not a child anymore, he has been in love before, he's been through unrequited love, and he's had his heart broken, and he's had a long time where he thought he didn't care about love at all. Summed up, he _is_ familiar with love, but he never thought that love is blind could refer to literally being blind to the fact of being in love in the first place.

Lovesick.

That's it. That's the simple and oh so obvious explanation as for why going on dates with other people made him think of Yifan, why he couldn't sleep at night without the other's comforting warmth by his side and why no matter how much he loves his friends, there's always a part of his heart that feels empty as long as he's in Shanghai and Yifan is in Changsha.

He hears his father's steady breathing through the phone while he's having his epiphany, the old man not interrupting his process of self-awareness with words, although Yixing knows there are questions burning on the tip of his tongue. His father is anything but slow, so Yixing is absolutely sure that he has been able to draw the conclusion between Yixing's question and his silence following the answer. But he doesn't press him to voice what Yixing hasn't even had time to properly process himself yet, not knowing the scope of his realization yet.

"What should I do now?" Yixing asks eventually, skipping back to their original topic of discussing Yifan's state, "He must be doing really bad if you called me."

"He is," his father admits contritely, as if the admission pains him. Yixing knows how much his father cares for the well-being of hybrids, and Yifan is like a second son to him, so being unable to help him with his own power must be eating away at the older man. "I think he hasn't slept for more than perhaps seven hours in five days, and even though he's trying his best to hide it from us, he also hasn't been eating much better. I had to call his workplace today to tell them that he's fallen sick, simply because he didn't want to get out of bed. It's not been nice ever since you went, but it's worse than ever now. You know yourself how much he loves his work, and it is one of the few things that truly gives him energy these days, so him being unwilling to go there... Yixing, I really think something needs to change soon. A hybrid isn't made to be away from the one they imprinted themselves on for so long. Yifan is proud, you know that, so he doesn't want you to know that he's suffering, so it's my duty to let you know."

"What should I do?" Yixing asks again, at the same time already pulling his laptop closer to himself across the bed and opening the price comparison website he always consults for his flights, choosing a travel date of the next day and praying that the flights won't go above the rent he's paying monthly. He lets out a small sigh of relief when the results turn up with flights just barely above 1100 CNY. "I can be home tomorrow at noon, if my boss let's me have the day off tomorrow already, or by 10 p.m. at latest when he doesn't."

"I'm sorry for this being so sudden, but I know you would have been mad if I had waited until the weekend to tell you."

Yixing wants to tell the other that he should have told him earlier already, that he shouldn't have allowed it to come to this point in the first place, but he knows his father, knows that he has inherited his character trait of not wanting to burden other people with anything is one he has strongly inherited from the man. So he bites his tongue, and instead focuses on mentally creating a bullet point list of all the things he needs to organize in order to be able to leave as early as possible the next morning.

 

-o-

 

Taking his vacation days is much easier than Yixing expected it to be. Ever since he started working for the company seven months ago, he hasn't even had any sick days, nor any vacation, and after he tells his boss that it's family emergency, the man tells him to take as many days off as necessary, since the family is the most important. Yixing bows for five minutes straight in thanks, even though the other man can't see him as they're talking over the phone.

He books his flights immediately after, leaving the return flight open even though he only took the rest of the week off so far. Yixing doesn't know what will expect him at home, what with the new found knowledge of Yifan's and his own feelings, and he's decided to determine all of his next steps in accordance to Yifan's state. He has been selfish for long enough, has neglected his promise of being the hybrid’s carer and he's been suffering through the consequences of it. He feels guilt weigh his heart down at the idea that Yifan has had it even worse than he did during the last few months.

There is anticipation and nervousness mixing in his stomach when he makes his way to the airport the next morning, dragging a suitcase along with him for the first time. So far, he's never had to take more than an overnight bag, and his heart sings at the idea of being in the safe embrace of his family home again for more than just two nights. At the same time, he's feeling restless, unsure how he will face Yifan with all the recent realizations. They've always acted closer than friends usually do, Yixing knows, and while he and Yifan have constantly been together since they were children, Yixing hasn't thought of him as a brother. He has thought of him being as close as a brother, but in the end he was simply _Yifan_ , and Yifan didn't fit into any categories, not friend, not brother, not lover.

Yixing has to admit however, that he's never taken the time to properly look at the love he's felt for the elder, never thought about the comfort being around Yifan brought and how natural the physical intimacy of tangling close together in bed always made his heart beat this tiny bit slower as the whole outside world seemed to be not present. Looking at it now, it's so glaringly obvious, and Yixing almost wants to laugh at himself for not realizing it earlier, when it was literally right under his nose ever since he was 17 and would rather spend a night in Yifan's embrace than his boyfriend's of that time.

He is at the airport with almost two hours to spare, his restlessness having driven him out of his flat way earlier than necessary as he didn't want there to be any risk of him missing his flight. Since he knows that his thoughts are a mess of imagining possible scenarios of what could happen when he sees Yifan next, he instead makes his way through security and then sits down in the waiting area with his laptop and earphones, hoping to get as much work done as possible. It manages to take his mind off of his worries for a while, but at the same time he notices that he's not really there, that his concentration wavers more often than it usually does. In the end, he's utterly relieved when his flight is called for boarding, and he almost drops his laptop in his unjustified haste to get up.

He makes it to Huanghua without any problems, and the clock has barely ticked past 12 p.m. when he's already heaving his suitcase towards the shuttle bus that will take him towards the railway station that will lead him home. He hasn't heard from his parents since his father wrote him that morning that he and Yixing's mother would be out for work when he arrives, but that Yifan will be home. As soon as he's settled into his seat in the metro, he texts them both that he's landed safely even though they most likely won't see his message for a few more hours. He doesn't text Yifan on purpose, since he doesn't know whether the catboy even is aware of his short notice visit. The last time he texted Yifan was at noon the previous day, which feels like ages ago, and he only knows that his father talked with Yifan about the imprinting thing, but knowing his father, he might have kept Yixing hastily booking a flight and rushing over a secret so that it will be a surprise to Yifan.

It's the reason why his hands are all the clammier when he fishes the spare key to his parent's house from his pocket, the metal warm against his hands because he spent the whole bus ride fiddling with it in nervousness. He has gone through this door a million times, but this time stepping over the door sill carries so many implications with it. Suddenly there's the vision of him, 15 years ago, standing inside the house and watching Yifan stumble over that very door sill, and he is surprised by how vivid the image is. He recalls the moment when he first saw Yifan as if it happened yesterday, last week, not when he was 8 years old. With the memories come the feelings, and suddenly there's no hesitation anymore, the clear resolution settling in that from the first moment he laid his eyes on the catboy, there was only one possible outcome. It just took him 15 years of obliviousness and seven months of suffering to realize that.

When he moves to unlock the door, his hands are completely steady, and there is no sign of the nervousness he felt ever since he woke up that morning from his fitful sleep.

The house is silent, and Yixing tries to be just as quiet in his movements, not wanting to wake Yifan in case the catboy should be sleeping. It seems unlikely, especially after his father told him that Yifan has been going through bad fits of insomnia, but he wants to be better safe than sorry. He gently places his suitcase near the entrance before padding further into the house on his socks.

He barely gets a meter away from the front door before he hears the sound of rustling clothes and light footsteps, and he stills completely when a human shape emerges from the living room down the hallway. Yifan looks at him with wide eyes, his ears perked up in concentration, and the disbelieving shock in his expression tells Yixing that the hybrid was not informed of his visit.

Perhaps that's what allows Yixing to see the signs of strain in Yifan's face and body, or perhaps it's just his new found awareness for them now that he knows what to look for. There are dark circles under Yifan's eyes, and his shoulders are slightly hunched, making him look more insecure than ever before. The shirt he's wearing is one he bought together with Yixing when they were still living together, a few months before Yixing received the job offer, but the formerly well-fitted shirt looks too big on Yifan's frame, giving the younger male a clear idea of how much weight the catboy must have lost.

"Yi...xing?" he croaks out, and his voice sounds rusty around the edges, as if he's not been using it that often the last few days, and the sense of deja-vu almost kills Yixing. The memory of him crying when his parents wanted to give Yifan away wells up again; he remembers Yifan standing in the doorway, shocked at his state of distress, and breaking his silence for the first time with Yixing’s name, in the hope of calming the upset eight-year-old boy he used to be back then. Yixing can almost feel Yifan licking at his tear tracks, that is how vivid the memory hits him.

"Yifan," he says, putting all the fondness and longing he's bottled up into the name, and he can see the other's reaction in the way Yifan's tail twitches once, and his ears moving to face in Yixing's direction, as if to catch his voice better.

The hybrid takes an uncertain step forward, shortening the distance between the two of them a little. His eyes are still widened, and he looks as if he's seeing a ghost. "Are you- are you really here? Am I going crazy?" Yifan asks in a low voice, disbelief tinging his every word, before taking on a somewhat hopeful tone, "Have I finally fallen asleep and am dreaming now?"

"You haven't," Yixing replies gently, taking a step forward as well, the desire to be able to touch Yifan overwhelming. "I'm really here." When the catboy still looks unconvinced, he adds, "Baba called me yesterday."

The words trigger an instant change in Yifan's attitude, his disbelief making way to realization, then shifting into embarrassment. All of a sudden, his tail is curling around his thigh in the typical display of nervousness, and his fingers start fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "Did he tell you..." Yifan lets the question trail off, since he doesn't need to complete it for Yixing to understand either way.

"He did," Yixing answers with a nod, and even in the dim lighting of the corridor he can the colour rushing to the hybrid's cheeks in embarrassment.

"So... you know... everything?" he asks, and it takes Yixing a few seconds before he realizes what 'everything' Yifan is worried about.

"I... think I do," he replies honestly, a light blush dusting his own cheeks at remembering how his father told him about Yifan's last heat. It explains the elder's fidgety behaviour, and his embarrassment, but Yixing refuses to let himself be deterred by that.

"I'm sorry," the elder apologizes, leaving Yixing dumbfounded for a minute.

"Sorry for what?"

"For making you rush here," Yifan explains, shortly lifting his gaze from where he's been studying the floorboards right in front of Yixing's feet, but letting it drop immediately again after his eyes meet Yixing's. "For burdening you with this... imprinting stuff."

"Hey, you don't need to apologize for anything," Yixing interrupts the hybrid before he can say anything else. "It's not like you did this on purpose, or as if you can control it." While talking, Yixing walks closer to Yifan, shortening the distance between them until he's standing only an arm's length away. To his relief, the catboy doesn't move away from him, instead standing rooted to the spot and watching each of Yixing's steps attentively. "It's what this whole imprinting thing is about, isn't it? You not really having a choice."

Yifan bites his lower lip in reaction, as if he tries to prevent the words forming on his tongue from spilling, and Yixing is taken aback for a moment by the realization of how kissable Yifan's lips are. It's something he has never really taken notice of before, _consciously_ , that is, as he's sure the thought must have floated through his mind at some point during his alone-time in the shower. He doesn't believe that he could have been ignorant of the catboy's attractiveness for all these years, when he's had ample opportunities to see just exactly how well-built Yifan is.

It takes him quite some effort to tear his eyes away from Yifan's lips, but eventually he manages to, instead focusing on the nervous twitching of the hybrid's silver ears. "I know there's something you want to say, what is it?" he asks, gently but insistently reaching forward to take Yifan's hand in his. Physical contact like this has always helped settle and calm the hybrid, and Yixing reasons that now, when they've both been deprived for so long, the gesture has an even bigger effect.

At first, the catboy continues to stay silent, only nervously nibbling his lip, but then he averts his gaze as if he doesn't dare to speak the words directly to Yixing. His grip on Yixing's hand however tightens at the same time, as if he's afraid of the younger disappearing again if his hold were to loosen just the slightest bit. "Even if I had a choice..." Yifan casts a quick glance at Yixing, and when he catches the smaller male watching him, he holds his gaze before continuing, "I would still have chosen you." More blood rushes to the catboy's cheeks, but he doesn't look away again.

Yixing swallows around the lump that suddenly has formed in his throat, and mentally scolds himself for feeling like a teenager again who just received his first love confession, instead of the responsible and experienced adult he's supposed to be. "When I talked with Baba yesterday," he starts, seeing the confusion in Yifan's gaze at the seemingly sudden change in topic, but he draws the other's hand closer until he can rest it against his chest, encasing it with both of his and keeping it there. There's no deeper meaning to the gesture, no intention of laying Yifan's hand over his heart, making him feel his heartbeat. He just want's Yifan to be closer, wants him to know that he doesn't have to fear rejection from the younger. "When I talked with Baba yesterday, I asked him whether there was something like reverse imprinting, whether a human could imprint back on the hybrid who had imprinted on them. I asked,” a short pause, a slight hint of hesitation before Yixing decides to press on, “because he told me about how you've been suffering while I was gone."

Yifan, always so proud Yifan, tries to draw his hand back in reaction, his features hardening a little as if he doesn't like being reminded of his weaknesses, but Yixing's hold is firm and unbudging, keeping the hybrid in place. "I asked, because everything he said you were going through were things I'd also been experiencing. Yifan, the time being away from you were the worst months of my life," Yixing confesses for the first time, having kept the troubles he was going through from the elder just like the hybrid kept them from him, "I couldn't sleep properly for weeks on end, I was feeling stressed all the time, and nothing could make me seem relax. My flat felt big, and empty, and cold, and I went days without eating anything but a bowl of rice because just the thought of something else made me feel like throwing up. However, my father said humans can't imprint on hybrids," Yixing studies Yifan's face, seeing realization slowly dawn on the hybrids face as he figured out where the smaller was heading. "Humans only get lovesick."

It's almost funny how Yixing can tell from Yifan's expression exactly when the penny drops; his eyes widening first, then his mouth starting to open and close, trying to form words his brain doesn't seem capable of providing at the moment. In a way, Yixing wants to keep watching him, wants to store hold onto the sight of Yifan's eyes slowly wandering down to where his hand is resting against Yixing's ribcage, catching the vibrations of his heartbeat, a look of pure fascination in his eyes, paired with disbelief.

There are too many firsts Yixing's been recalling already, their first meeting, the first thing he ever heard Yifan say, and he figures it's only right if he adds their first kiss to the list, so he moves one hand upwards until he's able to cup Yifan's neck, taking advantage of the fact that Yifan is already facing downwards and pulling him gently closer while at the same time tiptoeing until his lips can meet Yifan's.

A spark runs through Yixing's body at the contact, making his fingertips and toes tingle and all his thoughts stop for a short moment. Yifan's lips are soft beneath his, albeit unresponsive at first since the kiss has taken the hybrid off-guard. Yixing however doesn't let himself be deterred, instead continuing to brush his lips gently against the other's, until eventually Yifan catches on. The hand still resting against Yixing's chest curls into his shirt, either to hold Yifan upright or to pull Yixing closer, and his other hand comes up to card into Yixing's hair as he tilts his head and opens his mouth to deepen the kiss.

All of a sudden it's Yifan leading the kiss, pressing closer to the younger and licking against his lips, urging Yixing to open his mouth as well so that Yifan can explore the cavern with his tongue. It's a weird sensation, to have the catboy's slightly rough tongue glide against his, mapping out the inside of his mouth, but rather than putting Yixing off it spurs him on, making a jolt of electricity course through his body.

There is a sense of desperation in the hybrid's kiss, in the way he tries to pretty much mould himself with Yixing. It's the strain of the last months, perhaps even the time before that, uncoiling and fueling the intensity with which Yifan kisses Yixing. It's as if he pours all the longing he's been bottling up while he was separated from Yixing into the press of their mouths, and Yixing drinks it all up, trying to balance Yifan's force with accepting gentleness, while also sharing his own need for closeness.

He sighs in content when Yifan's hand glides through his hair, angling his head a bit further back as the hybrid leans down enough for Yixing's soles to be planted firmly to the ground again. He can feel Yifan's smile against his lips, and although the way they are kissing makes a moan build in his chest, what leaves his throat is an exhilarated giggle when Yifan finally pulls away a little. He can't believe that this is happening, and with his eyes still closed he chases after Yifan's lips, initiating a sequence of chaste pecks before they eventually separate for good.

When Yixing opens his eyes, he's met with the sight of Yifan's Celadon ones, and he wonders whether his own eyes are sparkling just like the catboy's are. "I love you," he says, the exhilaration in his chest pushing the words out before he can even think about it twice. It's not as if he hasn’t essentially told the other already by confessing to having been lovesick.

"You are my mate," Yifan replies, and even though his confession carries so many more implications than Yixing's, the younger accepts it with open arms, let's the words settle his restless heart into a languid pace. He's always known that he would care and protect Yifan for his whole life, so adding loving him to that list doesn't seem like much of a stretch.

 

-o-

 

They both spend the whole afternoon in a weird kind of haze, all the confessions and feelings, new perspectives and possibilities suddenly hanging in the air between them, and it’s the same way it’s always been and completely new at the same time between them. Yifan carries Yixing’s suitcase into the room he’s been sleeping in ever since moving back in with Yixing’s parents, and Yixing protests only because he’s more than strong enough to carry his luggage himself. The hybrid however doesn’t listen to him, and when he’s got his hands free again, he silences Yixing by kissing him. In reaction, the younger huffs in irritation once, but then easily lets himself be coaxed into placeability by Yifan’s tongue gently licking along his lips. They continue trading random kisses at random times throughout the afternoon, the sensation of it still so foreign and exciting that they can’t seem to resist it.

Beneath the new kisses, they also use their already familiar ways of expressing affection and seeking closeness with each other. They curl on the living room couch together, Yifan cuddling into Yixing’s side and tangling their legs together as he goes through scenting Yixing more thoroughly than ever before. The whole process, for all its comforting familiarity, carries a lot of unprecedented implications. This time, Yifan is scenting him consciously as his mate, and suddenly Yixing realizes just how possessive the action is, the only goal of it to coat Yixing in Yifan’s scent in order  to let other hybrid’s know that Yixing is his. When the catboy finally seems satisfied with grooming Yixing he takes a deep whiff of where his own scent is clinging to Yixing's throat as if to confirm that he did his job well.

Yixing, in turn, studies Yifan for a short moment after he has pulled away, a sudden urge making him lean forward to teasingly dart his own tongue against the elder's throat just like he's had Yifan do to him countless times. The hybrid stills for a moment in bafflement, caught off-guard by the other's actions, but Yixing doesn't let himself be swayed. He turns his body further towards Yifan, and shuffles onto his knees so that he has a better leverage for pressing himself closer to the hybrid, letting his licks travel across Yifan's sharp jawbone and cheek, until he reaches the tips of his silver strands. Yifan's hair feels different from Yixing's, much softer and fluffier, silky to the touch, and Yixing wonders why he has only ever let his fingers glide through the strands when they feel so heavenly against his skin, now that he rubs his face and chin against it. He repeats all the motions he recalls Yifan doing, but the hybrid's startled motionlessness doesn't last long before he starts squirming underneath Yixing's ministrations.

"What exactly are you doing there?" he asks with a slightly accusatory edge to his voice, and it makes a wide grin spread on his face as he moves to nuzzle into Yifan's ears. With delight he takes note of the way Yifan's breath hitches slightly and a shudder runs through the catboy's body, then the squirming continues, but Yixing easily follows him as Yifan tries to move away, leaning more of his bodyweight on his hands that are resting on Yifan's shoulders to balance him.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm scenting you," Yixing explains, his grin clear in his voice.

"You're what?" the catboy asks as if he didn't hear the other's words, trying to catch a view of Yixing's face but the younger is too busy moving over Yifan's scalp down to his neck, where he can dart his tongue over warm skin again.

"I'm scenting you," Yixing repeats as if it's the most normal thing in the world, "Since you decided we are mates now, I figured I should be allowed to scent you back, you know."

This time he allows Yifan to pull away enough for him to be able to face Yixing. The catboy's hair is ruffled from the way Yixing rubbed his face against it, loose strands sticking in every direction and he looks slightly scandalized, although the gentle blush dusting his cheeks tells Yixing that the hybrid isn't completely averse to the younger's doings.

"But you don't have the necessary glands for scenting," Yifan says in a deadpan voice, making it sound as if Yixing has lost his mind for forgetting about that fact, but the smaller male is well prepared for that.

"I don't care," he singsongs, and before Yifan can react, Yixing is already crowding his personal space again, leaving a short peck on his lips before tracing Yifan's features with his tongue and returning to rubbing his cheek along Yifan's scalp with added vigor, as if he did have the same scent glands Yifan has at the sides of his head.

Yifan's hands grab the younger's shirt, as if to push him away, but he doesn't really apply any force to his playful shoves, so the younger takes it as a sign to continue. They end up with Yixing lying half on top of Yifan, the hybrid having fallen down to in his futile attempt of escaping the human's affections. Yixing's face feels like it's being split in two by the grin he's sporting as small giggles still spill from his mouth, and Yifan's voice is breathless from laughter when Yixing eventually stops with scenting Yifan.

The silence of the room is broken only by the sound of them trying to catch their breath, and Yixing hoists himself up so he can look down at Yifan's face, supporting his weight with his arms against Yifan's chest, and his bright laugh dims down to a reverent smile as he studies the way the hybrid's eyes crinkle around the edges. Unable to fight the urge, Yixing leans down to plant his lips against Yifan's, an unhurried kiss to balance out their elevated pulses. Yifan reciprocates, but let's Yixing dictate the pace, not fighting for control over the kiss whatsoever. The younger keeps it gentle, no tongue involved, just a gentle glide of lips.

Once he pulls away, he moves back down to settle himself against Yifan, covering the catboy's body like a blanket. He throws his arms over Yifan's chest, and tangles his legs with the longer ones, before nuzzling into the crook of Yifan's neck, inhaling the soothing scent deeply. The warmth spreading throughout his body prompts him to hold Yifan even tighter, clinging to the hybrid as if there was any danger of him disappearing.

"God, I missed you so much," he sighs, a confession he didn't even mean to voice, but one he can’t hold back now that the feeling of exhilaration has settled down enough to make way for the sense of belonging Yixing has gone without for way too long.

"I missed you too," Yifan reciprocates, and winds his arms around the smaller body resting on top of him, pressing his cheek against the crown of Yixing's head before sighing in content. "More than you can imagine."

Yixing wants to protest, after all their separation was rough on him too, but recalling his father's words he reasons that he really doesn't have an idea of what effects being imprinted had on Yifan while the two of them were apart, so he just snuggles closer, and hums silently in what is part agreement, part apology and part comfort.

They don't mean to fall asleep, not when the sun is still standing bright in the sky and it's not even three o'clock yet, but they've both been futilely trying to chase a proper night's rest for weeks, and the comfort of having the other's presence so close drags them under without them being able to fight it--not that they would have wanted too, both all too happy to succumb to sleep.

The noise of the front door opening, and voice of Yixing's father announcing his return rouses them hours later, when the world has already gone dark beyond the window panes, painting the living room in the orange glow of the street lanterns as all lights are still switched off.

They are still tangled as closely together as they were when they fell asleep, and Yixing chuckles in drowsy lightheadedness at how Yifan rapidly blinks his eyes in slight disorientation as he takes in his surroundings. Yixing's father finds them like this, cozily fit together on the couch that is almost too small for Yifan by himself already. It only takes one look for him to break into a fond, fatherly smile as he tells them that he's glad they worked things out between them.

It's not as if they really have worked things out, they've not talked about the future yet, but they also don't want to do that on their first day of being reunited. Instead they let Yixing's mother coo at how she always knew they would make an adorable couple, and they have their big family reunion dinner at night, falling into Yifan's bed with sated stomachs and content hearts.

In the morning, Yifan wants to stay in bed with Yixing even after his alarm clock has roused him from sleep, but no matter how much Yixing wants Yifan to remain in his embrace, he knows that the hybrid would regret missing even more work now that his state has significantly improved. So against his wish, he pushes Yifan to get out of the bed, watching with half-lidded eyes as the elder pad sleepily to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, before returning to the room to get dressed. Yixing makes sure that the catboy can't give in to the temptation of crawling back under the warm covers, countering the taller's whining complaint that it's unfair for Yixing to be allowed to remain while he has to leave with a sleepy laugh and the promise that he will come fetch Yifan from school later so they won't have to be apart for long. The younger offers to see Yifan to the door, but the hybrid declines with a gentle shake of his head, coming to the bedside to demand a goodbye kiss and telling Yixing to rest well. It makes the human wonder how their roles of carer and the one who's being cared for have somehow been softened, but before he can dwell on the matter, Yifan's scent clinging to the sheets drags him back to sleep.

He spends a lazy morning with sleeping in and eating the leftovers of yesterday's dinner as breakfast, before settling into the living room with his laptop in order to get some work done while everyone is out of the house. Yixing is not good at doing nothing, has never been, and now that he feels like he's brimming with energy, he feels the need to direct it into productivity. He makes it through two whole songs within the span of three hours, amazed at how easily the ideas are flowing.

Since Yifan only has classes until close after noon that day, Yixing heads out around lunch time, and catches the bus leading him to Yifan's school because he sold his car when he had moved to Shanghai. Their reunion is filled with short pecks and wide smiles, and Yifan's fingers twined with Yixing's as they stop by a restaurant to pick up take out lunch.

Yixing's parents are both still out to work, so the house is empty when they get back, and with Yifan setting up the table it almost feels like they're back in their cozy flat halfway between Yixing's university and Yifan's workplace again, just the two of them and their everyday life. They sit beside instead of facing each other, so that Yixing can easier steal pieces of Yifan's food and Yifan can curl his tail around Yixing's arm to try and stop him.

It's almost like it used to be, except that this is the house of Yixing's parents and not their own, and that the address in Yixing's ID contains Shanghai and not Changsha. Yixing knows, that as much as he enjoys what they have right now, there are still important matters they need to sort out, now that their feelings are out in the open.

So as soon as their bellies are filled and the dishes have been cleaned Yixing takes Yifan by the hand and settles down on the couch with him, and from the way the hybrids expression turns serious, Yixing can tell that the other knows what they're going to discuss.

"I think we both agree on the fact that things can't go on the way they did the last few months," Yixing says by means of broaching the topic, and Yifan acknowledges everything with a nod, urging the younger to continue. Inside Yixing's head, there are a million words and feeling all jumbled together, and he tries to get them into a sensible order before voicing them. His endeavour is only half-successful, too many things he wants to say and too little time to organize his thoughts, so he just goes for blurting out the things that first come to his mind.

"I was selfish, going to Shanghai." He sees Yifan open his mouth in protest, and he knows that the catboy wants to argue that he gave Yifan the chance to follow, that they discussed and that Yixing is allowed to reach for his dreams, but the smaller male silences him with a raised hand. "I was, you don't need to argue against that. I took this job without discussing it with you, and the only choice I gave you was to follow me and uproot your life, or stay here. I don't want to be so selfish anymore. I swore that I would look after you, but instead I went and left you behind. So this time, I'll try to make it up by putting the decision into your hands."

He takes the back of Yifan's hand into his palm, like a symbolic gesture of handing the control over to the catboy, and he sees his silver ears fold against his head in a gesture that could either mean nervousness or reluctance, but he lets Yixing continue this time without trying to interrupt him.

"What do you need me to do, Yifan?" he Yixing asks, looking at the elder with an inquiring gaze, "If you need me to quit my job, I will. I've caused you enough pain with my decisions, and if you need me to move back here, I will. It's not as if I won't be able to find a job here as well."

He holds eye contact with Yifan, hoping to get across that he is being genuine with his offer. The thought has been floating in his head already before he received the phone call from his father, and a few times he had been tempted to just go ahead and submit his resignation in order to be able to get back to Changsha, but all those times it had felt like running away once things got a little rocky, so he had never gone through with it. Now it isn't about him having to persevere anymore; it's about Yifan suffering and Yixing is willing to do anything to change that. So if the hybrid were to tell him to quit his job, to come back to Changsha, he would do so in a heartbeat.

Yifan, however, casts his gaze down at where Yixing has joined their fingers together. He doesn't move to retreat his hand, instead turning it around so that his palm is brushing against Yixing's. The motion makes a small smile bloom on his features, as if the way their hands fit together fascinates the hybrid and Yixing wonders how he ever managed to go without the other for months in the first place. Yifan doesn't say anything at first, and Yixing is just about to fill the silence between them with more words, more explanations or suggestions, when Yifan looks at him again.

"I spoke with my boss today, at work," Yifan starts, and Yixing tenses because he is afraid of what the hybrid will say next. He doesn't want to hear that Yifan resigned his teaching position, doesn't want the other to have to sacrifice anything for Yixing's selfish wish to go for this job. But Yifan's gaze doesn't look sad, he looks at Yixing with such gentleness that the words die in his throat. "I told her everything, about you, about us, about what's been going on with me the last few months. She was very understanding. Apparently her daughter also has a hybrid, and while he's not imprinted, she knows how dependent he can be. So when I explained everything to her, she offered me an alternative teaching arrangement. The semester is going to be over soon either way, and she said that they wanted to try out a special program for their foreign language classes."

"Which means..." Yixing prompts when Yifan stills, making a pause for dramatic effects, before breaking into a wide smile. And suddenly Yixing feels as if they'll be alright, even without knowing what the hybrid is going to say next.

"It means that I'll keep on teaching, but I'll be doing it over Skype. They hope to get more native speakers to teach for them, and via Skype they are not limited to personal living in Changsha. The kids already know me, so it will be easier for them to get used to me teaching them via Skype than if it were some stranger." Yifan ends his explanation with a grin, and Yixing feels his heartbeat pick up when he realizes what the hybrids words mean.

"I'll move with you to Shanghai, but at the same time I'll continue my work. No one has to make any sacrifices this way," the hybrid elaborates when Yixing stays silent, and his expression shifts to worry when he sees the tears well up in Yixing's eyes.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks, and his tail comes up to curl around his upper arm again, but Yixing quickly shakes his head.

"No, you did nothing wrong," he says, and he wants to add how Yifan did everything right, how he provided them with the perfect solution and how Yixing can't believe that the other is doing all these things for him, but instead of trying to verbalize these emotions, he leans forward and expresses his gratefulness through the insistent press of his lips to Yifan's, his free hand carding into the short hair at the back of the hybrids neck in order to pull him closer. He holds him there as he pours all his emotions into the kiss, and from the way Yifan kisses back, Yixing's certain that the other understands him.

  

-o-

 

The rest of the week is spent with preparations, Yixing calling his boss to inform him that he'll be back to work on Monday, just like he had originally planned, and Yifan going through all the things he has to settle for this short notice move. Neither of them saw it coming, but since Yifan doesn't have many belongings, and Yixing's parents immediately offered to help with sending everything Yifan couldn't fit into his suitcase, organizing the move turns out to be easier than they both anticipated.

On the night before their flight, Yixing's father comes to him while Yifan is in the bathroom, getting ready to sleep. Yixing knows, that for the second time his parents will lose their second child, and even though they are both already way past 20, he knows that their age doesn't matter for his parents. But instead of giving him an emotional farewell speech, his father just hands him an envelope. Inside, there is an official looking document. When Yixing pulls it out the first thing he sees is Yifan's name, and then he sees his own. For a split second he's confused, but then he looks back up to his father so quickly that he feels his neck crack a little.

"Yifan has always belonged to you," his father says by means of explanation, "I don't know why I haven't given you these papers already when you two first moved in together, but it's definitely time you get them now. This whole moving thing is a lot easier when you're his legal owner, Xing."

Yixing, slightly choked up, moves from where he was seated on the bed to encase his father in a tight hug, whispering words of gratitude into his ear, which his father answers by telling him that there's nothing to thank him for, all he did was hand Yixing some papers which state something that's already been reality for years either way. And yet, when Yixing stores the papers securely in his suitcase, he feels like they are the final missing piece in the puzzle he's been trying to fit together his whole life.

Saying goodbye at the airport is hard, as it always is, especially when his mother loses the fight against her tears, but he has Yifan to hold his hand once they’re through security, and after they have boarded the flight, he can rest his head on the hybrids shoulder, comforted by the silky feel of Yifan’s tail brushing against his arm and the way Yifan leans against Yixing in turn. After spending most of their last night under Yixing’s parents roof with panicking last minute, and therefore un- and repacking Yifan’s suitcase, they have sleep to catch up on during their late night flight. Yixing barely feels the drag in his stomach when they escape gravity’s grip, already on his way to sleep, and he snuggles slightly closer to the taller body besides him the best he can with his seatbelt shut. The flight is spend drifting between a state of half-awareness and slumber, dozing with the even breathing of Yifan resounding in his ear even over the noises of the plane’s machines.

He’s still drowsy when they’ve already picked up their suitcases and are on their way to his flat, but the closer the subway gets to his stop, the more nervousness replaces his sleepiness, a giddy hint of excitement mixing with the heavy drag of insecurity. It’s the first time for Yifan to see his flat, the catboy not having come visit him once so far—flying is neither something hybrids like to do, nor do airlines like having an unaccompanied hybrid on their flight. So since Yixing couldn’t possibly house Yifan and one of his parents, potentially both, in his flat, it always made more sense for him to come visit them instead of having Yifan fly all the way to Shanghai.

It’s not something Yixing ever held against the hybrid, although he sometimes caught himself wishing he could show off his realm to the elder, asking for his opinions on it. Yifan knows how cold the flat felt to Yixing, they’ve had ample opportunity to talk about it during the nights they spend cuddled together in the last week. But at the same time, Yixing also told him about all the little decoration items he bought, and how his friend did such a good job in color coordinating the whole interior, making sure all the shapes fit each other and the layout of the flat.

Thus, when unlocking the flat, Yixing keeps casting nervous glances back over his shoulder, which Yifan answers with reassuring smiles. The younger tries to grin back, but he can feel how the edges of his smiles waver, making them emphasize his nervousness rather than overplaying it.

“I’m sorry if it’s a bit messy, I left without being able to clean up properly,” Yixing apologizes, before finally pulling the door open and letting Yifan step in first.

The catboy is silent when he ventures into the flat, but Yixing can see his ears twitch, as his tail swishes from left to right and back, giving away how closely Yifan is studying his surroundings. The smaller male follows after the hybrid into his flat, sees Yifan peek his head into the moderately sized kitchen into which he’s managed to fit a table big enough for four people to dine on, and with a thoughtful hum the elder continues his way until he’s standing in the middle of the only real room of the apartment that’s doubling as Yixing’s bed and living room. There he stills, and Yixing is just about to tentatively ask him for what he thinks, when the catboy inhales deeply, holding his breath for a second as if to savour the air before exhaling slowly. Then he turns around to face the younger, a happy grin on his face that reveals his gums, and Yixing’s heart skips a beat at the sight. “It smells like you.”

The flat, technically, is too small for two people, but Yixing finds the size that seemed unbearably big before to be just right now that he has the hybrid to share it with. There is not enough room for them to properly retreat, but neither of the two requires such space either. Yixing knows that it’s not an arrangement to go on forever. Sooner or later they will need to move into a flat that has more than one room, a flat that can accommodate Yifan’s collection of books and give Yixing a little space at least to go through the moves he wants to use for the next song he’s given, but for now he’s marveling at how warm and homely his flat suddenly feels, and he couldn’t ask for more.

It’s something he’s unused to at first, acting like lovers with Yifan, and even though they are completely comfortable with each other, it causes Yixing to tiptoe around the hybrid occasionally, not sure whether it’s expected of him to give Yifan a goodbye kiss before heading out to work, or whether laying his head in Yifan’s lap while the other is reading on their bed would be weird. The hybrid is facing similar troubles, going by the way Yixing sometimes catches him reaching out as if to place a hand on Yixing’s hip but retreating before he can reach, or the slight hesitation he feels when Yifan is pressing against him in a back hug while Yixing is preparing dinner.

It’s ridiculous to the highest degree, Yixing realizes a few days into their living together, because even though they’ve pinpointed now what exactly they are, they’ve always been touchy with each other. And while they were in Yixing’s parents’ house, they fell together as lovers so naturally that he wonders why he’s grown so awkward in his own flat. So he decides to just go back to treating Yifan exactly the way he always used to, and he demands of the hybrid to do the same. Like that, they fall back into their old mannerisms, and Yifan burrows his nose into Yixing’s neck to take in his smell at random times again while Yixing fluffs Yifans’ hair and gently massages his ears when the elder is sitting in the kitchen to set up the laptop for his Skype lessons. All in all, it’s the same as it’s been all throughout Yixing’s university time, except for the fact that there are kisses interspersing their affectionate gestures.

Kissing Yifan is Yixing’s new addiction, he discovers; the elder’s lips just too tempting when they are cuddled together and it always seems like just the right amount of a challenge, having to tiptoe in order to earn his kisses when Yifan is walking around the flat.

Within the span of a few weeks, their kisses progress from majorly consisting of innocent pecks in passing to tangling their tongues while Yixing folds his hands together behind Yifan’s neck and Yifan lets his rest at the small of Yixing’s back, and before they know it, Yifan is pressing Yixing into the mattress with his body weight, their hands roaming below their shirts while the press of their mouths turn sloppy in between the low-pitched moans they let out. Their make-out sessions never go further than them rubbing their clothed bodies against each other, curious hands under shirts the only bare-skin-to-skin contact they have. The speed at which their physical relationship progresses might not be a normal one for people their age, but as much as Yixing wants Yifan, he wants to do this right, wants to get to know Yifan’s body the slow way and not by throwing himself head first into physical intimacy that they might not be ready for yet.

He does a lot of reading as well, trying to figure out with the help of books and the internet whether he needs to watch out for anything, if there are any special rules he has to follow or things he has to pay attention to. His search turns up with the result that everything he would do with a human partner is just as suitable for a hybrid one. After finding that there’s nothing to worry about doing wrong, he switches to looking for things to do right instead, since he knows that erogenous zones of hybrids, while mostly similar to humans, are still slightly different. Most of the guides he finds focus on when hybrids are in heat, since that’s the time owners are required to help their pets with sexual gratification. Yifan is not a pet however, has never been in Yixing’s or his family’s eyes, so all they did for Yifan’s heats were to provide him with necessary toys and privacy, wanting it to be his own call if he wanted someone else to be with him during his heats.

Yixing reads these guides nonetheless, but he knows that the first time he will sleep with Yifan will not be during his heat. He hasn’t spoken with the hybrid yet, but he wants it to be Yifan’s decision, 100%, and not the biological need that’s clouding his mind. It doesn’t matter whether Yifan is imprinted on him, or whether that means that he will only want Yixing during his heat either way, has wanted him for longer than they’ve been officially together. Perhaps it’s also just a sense of selfishness that Yixing wants to prove to himself that Yifan wants him, even when there are no hormones setting his blood on fire with the need to mate.

Doing all the research that he does has the striking disadvantage however that it makes him indulge himself in all the things that will hopefully make Yifan feel good, and he’s unable to fight the mental images that come with it. The idea of the catboy spread out below him, mewling and moaning softly while Yixing drags his mouth over all the right spots on his bare skin chops away at his self-restraint bit by bit, and the fact that the real life version of Yifan gets more adventurous and needy whenever they make out just adds to Yixing’s demise.

So when Yifan’s hand starts sneaking underneath Yixing’s sweatpants, tentatively as if he’s still trying to test the waters and wants to see whether the younger will recoil or encourage him, Yixing decides that it’s time to tell the hybrid about all the things he’s been thinking through ever since Yifan came back to Shanghai with him. The catboy looks dejected when Yixing gently pulls away, and the smaller male can see the poorly concealed hurt triggered by rejection in Yifan’s eyes, so he’s quick to surge forward and catch Yifan’s lips in a kiss that he hopes is calming, winding his fingers into the other’s shirt in order to keep him close.

He starts by reassuring Yifan that he definitely isn’t averse to them taking things a step further, he’s anything but. The catboy looks a bit sceptical at first, but the further Yixing gets with his explanation, the further his features relax into understanding. When Yixing tells him that they will take things at Yifan’s pace, and that they’ll do it as soon as Yifan feels ready, he just needs to say so, Yifan’s gaze softens and the kiss he plants against Yixing’s lips doesn’t fit the heatedness of their touches mere minutes prior at all. That night, Yixing brings Yifan to completion with his hand, and Yifan reciprocates despite Yixing’s protests.

The hybrids next heat is supposed to hit in about two weeks, so since they both agree that their first time should be outside of this three-day-period, Yixing prepares himself for waiting another three weeks at least, seeing as Yifan doesn’t seem to want to hurry things up between them just because his heat is approaching. That resolution, however, lasts no more than a week, on both sides.

It’s Friday night, thankfully, when Yixing comes home from work all sweaty and sticky and immediately heads for the shower, shouting a greeting to the hybrid who’s relaxing in their room, getting the usual response back that’s muffled by the distance between them. He doesn’t expect the night to be anything special, or different, plans to have takeout for dinner and perhaps a few hours of watching the newest drama Yifan has taken a liking too.

He doesn’t expect Yifan to keep on eyeing him with intent when he returns to the room with damp hair, shorts and one of his loose tank tops. As soon as the younger passes by the bed, Yifan pulls him into a kiss, which progresses into making out, the way they’re both well used to by then. But when Yixing palms the catboy’s erection, Yifan pulls away from their kisses to tell the younger that he’s ready, that he wants Yixing, truly _wants_ him. The younger hesitates only for the blink of the eye, because as soon as he looks Yifan’s eyes he knows that the other is sure. And who is Yixing to object.

That night, Yifan opens himself up for Yixing, sprawling his body across the sheets beneath the younger male to give his everything into the gentle care of Yixing’s hands. Yixing knows that Yifan has never before laid with anyone else this intimately. Sure, the hybrid has had heats, and toys to help him through them, but he never asked for Yixing to assist him during the bimonthly fits of burning desire which make his skin crawl and his rationality disappear for the span of three days, and he also never requested for someone else’s care during these times. Taking into account that Yifan might have imprinted himself on Yixing before his first heat even struck, it makes sense that if he couldn’t have Yixing’s hands on him he also wouldn’t want anyone else’s. It leads Yixing to wonder for how long the catboy has already imagined it being Yixing’s touches who bring him to completion when he’s pleasuring himself with the toy’s he’s regularly using for dealing with his heat.

Yixing _has_ bedded other people before, male and female alike, although he can’t exactly say that he has had frequent sexual encounters, usually too indulged in his study or work—or Yifan—to go look for a significant other, and not a big fan of the anonymous, momentary relief one night stands provide. He has experience, but he still fumbles slightly as his hands and mouth search for the spots that make Yifan feel good, make him spill the moans he’s trying to hold in by biting his lower lip, wanting to do everything right. It might only be Yifan’s first time, but it also is their first time together, and Yixing can’t fight the feeling that this is the first time that really matters to him as well, where he’s into it not only with his body but with his whole heart as well.

So he takes his time, maps out Yifan’s body completely from head to toe, enjoying every tiny shudder, mewl and moan, and kissing along the goosebumps that form in the wake of his fingertips. When he prepares Yifan, the catboy is already a whining mess beneath him and Yixing loves it, loves how he can make the catboy arch his back in a tempting curve,  make him follow after each of his touches and let out a deep guttural purr when Yixing presses his hands stronger against the other’s heated skin in reaction. The glide in is calculated, slow, and the elder whimpers out his name when Yixing is buried till the hilt, stilling because he wants to give Yifan time to relax around the girth and feeling that is different from his toys. The hybrid complains that Yixing doesn’t need to take it so painfully slow, his body well accustomed to the sensation of bottoming from the various heats he already went through, but Yixing insists, leaning forward to kiss along Yifan’s slightly furrowed brows, tracing the sweat running down to his cheek with his tongue until he can cover the other’s lips with his own. He only starts moving once he deems Yifan sufficiently relaxed, picking up speed quickly however when Yifan immediately moves to meet his thrusts. Their bodies align as they chase after their high, their rhythms matching each other perfectly.

Yixing is overwhelmed by the rush of pleasure, but even against the temptation it remains on the forefront of his mind that he needs to focus on taking care of Yifan. He drinks up every sound and motion the elder gifts him with, and appreciates them by hitting the catboy’s sweet spot until Yifan’s thighs are quivering and his toes are curling, his thrown back head giving Yixing the perfect opportunity to nip at Yifan’s neck. The catboy comes first after Yixing wraps his fingers around his length, and Yixing doesn’t think he’s ever heard something more beautiful than Yifan’s voice brokenly calling out his name in ecstasy. It has Yixing follow the other right over the edge.

They are both sweaty and sticky, but they’re also feeling sated and exhausted and neither wants to bother with cleaning up, so instead they fold against each other uncaring of the mess between their bodies as they trade gentle kisses and whispered declarations of love until they drift off to sleep.

 

-o-

 

"Yifan, you're doing that thing with your tail again," Yixing tells the catboy, the hint of a laugh colouring his voice and Yifan reacts by looking down his body, seeing the furry appendage curled around his leg.

It's a subconscious action, and Yifan huffs slightly as he forces himself to release the hold of his thigh. A smile pulls the corners of Yixing's mouth apart, and he puts down the last plate onto its designated spot on the table before walking over to where the hybrid is standing.

"I thought you weren't nervous," Yixing teases, repeating Yifan's claims from that morning when they had lying in bed together, discussing who would go to which store to get the ingredients for their dinner that night.

The younger rises onto the balls of his feet so that he can stroke a hand over Yifan's head, smoothing down the catboy's ears that had been folded against his head in a sure sign of nervousness. Yifan still looks tense, for sure, but his exhale sounds like a small sigh as he allows his muscles to relax a little at the calming touch of Yixing, the younger's hand resting at Yifan's neck.

"I promise you, tonight will be fun. We're cooking your favourite dish, after all," Yixing tries to reassure the hybrid, tilting his head in a playful manner and crouching slightly so that he's looking up at Yifan with a twinkle in his eyes.

The catboy answers with a grin of his own, unable to resist Yixing when he's looking like that. Knowing that makes Yixing's smile widen as he tiptoes to peck the corner of Yifan's lips before drawing away and moving back to where he's in the middle of setting the table, pullingthe hybrid along with him by the wrist.

Truly, Yixing himself is a bundle of nerves, but somehow seeing that Yifan is nervous as well helps with putting him at ease. If he wants Yifan to believe his soothing words, he has to be calm himself, the catboy's feline instincts easily being able to tell the slightest signs of discomfort in Yixing's behaviour. So it's a welcome side effect, that when he reassures Yifan and tells him that everything will be okay, he also settles into that belief.

In a way, Yixing thinks he has no reason to be as nervous as he is about the fact that his friends will come over for dinner that night, meeting Yifan for the first time. A few weeks have already passed since they both came back to Shanghai together, and Yixing has already told his friends about having moved in together with his boyfriend. It had triggered a lot of disbelieving whining from Luhan about how Yixing kept having a boyfriend a secret, and how he thought their friendship was the kind where they could tell each other anything. Yixing, trying to calm the other's slightly overdramatical outbreak, explained to him that he technically hadn't kept anything from Luhan, as he and Yifan had only started "dating" a week before moving in together. Luhan still insisted on being hurt, and he also was quite disbelieving at first until Yixing explained to him that he and Yifan have known each other since childhood, have always been close and that they both were just always too ignorant to realize their feelings towards each other.

It's not entirely the truth; Yixing thinks that Yifan might have puzzled out his attraction much earlier than the younger, he just kept silent because Yifan is neither the type to openly talk about his feelings, nor is he the type to expect Yixing to reciprocate. But for the sake of keeping things simple, Yixing doesn't delve deeper into the matter, instead heaving a silent sigh of relief when Luhan looks reluctantly convinced by the argument. Of course he immediately demands to be introduced to the mystery boyfriend that he already heard a lot about when Yixing had to opt out of evening gatherings in order to get home for his Skype dates. Yixing refused, with the argument that Yifan is rather shy, and he wants to give him time to get used to the new surroundings first before exposing him to new people. Luhan accepts his excuse, albeit with another huff and a complaint about Yixing wanting to keep his shiny new boyfriend all to himself.

 _That_ , admittedly, is the truth, but after a few weeks, and a lot more incessant whining from both Luhan and Zitao, he decided that it was about time for them to finally meet his better half.

He has always been nervous introducing his boy- or girlfriends to other friends or family, but this time there is the added pressure of being unsure of what his friends' reaction will be to the mere fact that the boyfriend he's always been talking about is a catboy. He doesn't know why he didn't tell Luhan, or any of his other friends, that Yifan is a hybrid. It's not as if Yixing is ashamed of it, or that he thinks that he shouldn't be dating a catboy or that, _worse_ , a human can only own and not properly _date_ a catboy. In all honesty, Yixing didn't particularly try to keep the fact that Yifan is a hybrid from his friends. It never crossed his mind that it is something even worth mentioning, but now that he's awaiting his friends' arrival, he feels the coil of uncertainty settle heavily in his stomach. His friends are all very open minded people, but this is a bit beyond accepting couples uncaring of both parties' gender; it's about Yifan being a completely different race, and Yixing is acutely aware of how rare their type of relationship is when the doorbell rings, signalling the arrival of the first guest of the night.

Luhan is always rather on time, but when Yixing casts a glance at the clock hanging on their kitchen wall, it tells him that there are still twenty more minutes until seven, the time their guests were originally supposed to come. Yifan stays back in the kitchen when Yixing goes to open the door, with the excuse of tending to the dishes that are boiling on the stove. In reality, he hybrid is nervous, and wants to give the younger the chance to welcome his friend first, but Yixing doesn't call him out on that. Instead he give Yifan a quick peck in passing as he makes his way for the door.

His friend is standing there, soft brown hair styled as perfectly as if he is about to go to a performance rather than having dinner at Yixing's home. In his hands he's holding a bottle of Champagne, the brand one Yixing vaguely remembers reading a while ago. Luhan looks at him with that disarming smile of his when Yixing invites him into the flat, and he presses the bottle into Yixing's arms together with an apology for being so early.

"You said that Yifan doesn't like meeting new people," he explains while taking off his shoes, "So I thought it might be better if he doesn't have to meet everyone at once?"

Yixing is speechless for a short second, then he quickly gathers his bearings again and thanks the other for his thoughtfulness. They make a bit of small talk while they're still standing in the hallway, Luhan commenting on the slightly different interior design from when he last was around, and Yixing finding his eyes catching all the small details Yifan or he and the hybrid together changed in the last few weeks. He hadn't even noticed how much their new life settled into every crook and nanny of their apartment, but even by just looking at the hallways it's so obvious that Yixing wonders how he could have missed it in the first place.

"So, will I get to meet your better half now?" Luhan asks when their conversation comes to a natural lull, and Yixing, so immersed in the naturalness of their chatter, startles a little when he remembers the main purpose of his friend's visit.

He nods, wordlessly, and turns to lead Luhan into the flat and towards the kitchen. The artist stays a little way back, as if to give Yixing the chance to see Yifan first, and to prepare the other for the new face awaiting him.

"Yifan," the younger calls out softly when he passes through the doorway. It's unnecessary, the catboy's ears already having picked up their footsteps even over the sound of the steaming pots and the low radio playing in the background. Yixing sees Yifan's shoulders stiffen a little, his ears giving one twitch before they seem to relax, but Yixing can tell how forced the pretended naturalness of his posture is. Yifan turns around, and takes a step into their direction, but before he can properly make his way over to them, Yixing is already at his side. He strokes a comforting hand down the hybrid's arm, hoping to dissipate some of the nervousness, and threads their fingers together when he reaches the end of the elder's limb.

"Luhan," Yixing turns back to where the brunet has emerged from the hallway by now, "This is my boyfriend, Yifan. Yifan, meet Luhan."

There is a short moment where Luhan's eyes wander up and down Yifan's body, widening slightly as he passes over the silver hair, and most importantly the furry cat ears hidden in the deliberately disheveled mess, before his gaze darts down to where Yifan's tail leaves no room for doubt about what Yifan is. Yixing, despite himself, holds his breath as he waits for Luhan's judgement. He doesn't want to be like this, wants to be Yifan's safe haven, like he always wants to be, but this time he squeezes the elder's hand because he himself needs the calming connection.

"Well damn," Luhan eventually huffs out after what feels like a small eternity. "I get why you would hide that boyfriend of yours away from us." His face is furrowed in a thoughtful frown, and Yixing feels his heart slow down to an icy halt, steeling himself for disapproving words while at the same time readying all the defenses he's had to say way too often when people tried to belittle Yifan for being a hybrid. But before he can even fully formulate any sort of sentence, Luhan's expression changes into a toothy grin. "I mean, wow, what a _catch._ If I had a boyfriend this hot I'd also want to keep him to myself 24/7."

Yixing's breath escapes him in a stuttering, disbelieving laugh, his lips pulling into a tentative smile, still not entirely sure he can trust his ears. Luhan, fully aware of what reaction the younger was waiting for and taking great delight in teasing him about it, doesn't even wait for Yixing's to say something before stepping further into the room. "Hello Yifan, I'm Luhan," he introduces himself when Yixing continues being at a loss for words, and Yifan raises his own, free hand to shake the other's proffered one.

"Yifan," he says, the deep tone of his voice pushing Luhan even further into his fanboying mode as he asks Yixing how the heck he even managed to score himself such a fine boyfriend.

With a joking twinkle in his eyes, Luhan leans towards the hybrid and conspiratorially asks him why he's even with Yixing, and that he can surely find someone better than such a boring choreographer. Yifan is blushing under the onslaught of compliments, his voice caught in his throat while Yixing hits Luhan indignantly, the way best friends do. But even though Yifan is visibly unused to such praise, and despite his outer appearance suggesting discomfort, Yixing feels the hybrid relax beside him. Luhan's charm is something to count on, after all, and by the time that Zitao also arrives, Yifan's nervousness has already made way to tentative smiles and shallow conversations.

The designer doesn't even stop to consider the fact that Yifan is a hybrid, too busy fawning over the colour combination of Yifan's silver hair and his Celadon eyes. Between Zitao and Luhan, Yifan is left to stuttering and fumbling under all the benevolent attention for the biggest part of the evening, while at the same time quickly starting to join them in their teasing of Yixing.

When the two coworkers eventually leave, just in time to catch the last train, Yifan and Yixing are both equally exhausted, but Yixing feels the excited happiness thrum under his skin that spending an evening with his friends always brings him. Looking at Yifan's smile, he can read in the lines of his eyes and the corners of his mouth that the hybrid shares that feeling.

"So, what do you think?" he asks once they've deemed the kitchen clean enough and have curled up on the couch together for their late night cuddling.

Yifan hums, his fingertips tracing the faint lines of Yixing's veins on the back of the younger's hand. "I like them. They're very nice," he eventually says, and Yixing finds himself smiling even brighter at the hybrid.

"I'm glad." is all he says, shifting so that he's snuggling even deeper into Yifan's side, the catboy reacting by draping his arms around Yixing all protectively. This, Yixing thinks, was his last worry. Now he and Yifan are truly, 100%, settled in their new life in Shanghai.

Together.

Finally.

 

-o-

 

Yixing inhales deeply when he sets foot out of his company's building. For once it's a nice day, the sun shining and the air feeling fresh for it's coldness. A strong wind has been blowing the clouds of the last few days away, carrying another wave of icy humidity, but even though he doesn't exactly welcome the cold weather, he _does_ welcome the sunshine accompanies it. Winter always is a grey affair, and while he can see the appeal in autumn with it's colourful leaves and atmospheric thunderstorms, winter just doesn't do it for him.

The weather is not the only reason for his good mood, although it certainly amplifies it, and neither is the fact that he's leaving work slightly earlier than usually. Rather, it's that after work, he doesn't immediately take the subway home the way he usually does. Instead he takes another line, leading him into a slightly different direction, towards the store which he received a message from earlier that morning, telling him that his order was ready for pick up. He's excited just as much as he's nervous, his heart beating loudly in his chest as he hands over the money in exchange for the small, wrapped up box.

Five years have passed since Yifan followed him to Shanghai. They are living in a bigger flat now, having moved when Yixing got his first promotion after eight months, but aside from that, not much has changed. They still wake up together in the morning, and Yixing is responsible for their breakfast. After they eat together, Yixing heads out to work while Yifan settles into his small office, preparing all the necessary material for his Skype lessons. When Yixing returns at night, they settle either for take out or cook together, and then spend their night soaking up as much closeness as they can. There's nothing spectacularly exciting about their day, but Yixing couldn't imagine anything better than their routine together.

Of course, there are occurrences that break the routine, there always are, and Yixing knows that something is off the moment he steps through the front door. Sure, he's home almost two hours later than usual, but that's not it. Rather, it's that the very second he's pulled the door close behind him, when he's still in the middle of stepping out of his shoes, his coat still hanging from his shoulders, Yifan is already in the entrance area, crowding Yixing's personal space as soon as the younger has straightened up from his crouching position. "Yifan?" he asks in wonderment, a slight hint of concern mixing into his voice.

Yifan, by any means, is still as affectionate, if not even more so, as he was when they first started dating. At the same time, however, he retains his feline characteristics, one of them being that he never comes to greet Yixing at the door when he gets home. Sure, the catboy is always glad when Yixing finally gets home, but he considers it too much of an unnecessary hassle to get up from his favourite spot on the couch when Yixing will come to give him his "I'm back home" kiss even when he doesn't move. So Yifan not even giving him enough time to fully get out of his coat before demanding his attention is highly untypical, and Yixing is about to ask him if something happened while he was gone, but then he looks at Yifan, truly looks at him, and it clicks.

The catboy's pupils are dilated, he's panting slightly and his face is red, beads of sweat collecting on his forehead. He looks as if he's running a fever, a high one, but Yixing knows that it's not a cold that's plaguing him. The last few weeks, Yixing's work has been very busy. His company has debuted two new artists, and since first impressions are so important, debut performances need to be exceptionally well prepared. Nonetheless he scolds himself for letting Yifan's heat schedule slip his mind. Usually he's good at predicting when the hybrid's heats will strike, taking two or three days off in advance so he can be there for Yifan. Because despite the fact that the catboy always dealt with his heats by himself for many years, Yifan confessed to him early on how unsatisfying these self-induced releases are. They help, for sure, because they take a bit of the edge off of the physical pressure, but in the end they're like trying to fight a fire with a cup of water; the toys might manage to douse the flames a little, but in the end the fire just burns on as if nothing happened. During his heat, Yifan craves for the touch of his mate, and Yixing knows that it's his responsibility to provide him with that.

"You're back," the catboy greets him, and Yixing can tell from the breathy quality of Yifan's voice that his heat most likely started in the morning already.

"Yifan, why didn't you call me?" he asks, the words coming out more like an accusation than a question, "You know exactly that you're supposed to call me when your heat strikes."

He unceremoniously drops his backpack and coat onto the floor right where he stands, not caring that the fabric is crinkling because he can still hang it up properly later. Right now he has Yifan to tend too.

"You said you would be working overtime today, so it sounded like your work is important right now," Yifan argues, a slight whine tinting his tone that he only ever gets when he's either truly upset or in heat.

Yixing almost feels bad about lying to Yifan about working overtime, but it's not something that he can change now so he brushes the thought away. "I told you, you're always more important than work, Yifan," he reprimands the hybrid, a tiny bit of exasperation seeping into his expression because this is not the first time Yifan has not called him as soon as his heat started the way he's supposed to, and Yixing just wants to make him understand that he does not need to suffer through his heat by himself anymore.

Yixing's boss is understanding, owning a hybrid himself, and especially considering Yixing's hardworking nature and the results he regularly delivers, the man is more than willing to give Yixing the days off as soon as Yifan goes into heat. The hybrid, however, still doesn't seem to believe that it's really okay for him to selfishly call Yixing from work when he should be able to deal with the fire in his veins by himself for a few hours.

Yifan's ears fold back against his head at Yixing's reproach, and Yixing immediately feels bad for not softening his tone when he knows how sensitive Yifan gets during his heat, taking everything Yixing says way more personal than he usually would. During these three days, Yifan's rational side always is less present, his instincts getting stronger instead, and one of them tells him that he has to appease Yixing as his caregiver, needing to stay on his good side.

So he sidles up to Yixing, his fingers grabbing the sleeves of Yixing's shirt as if he needs something to keep him steady. At the same time, he rubs his cheek against Yixing's, and the younger isn't even sure whether it's a gesture meant to ask for his forgiveness or one that's simply an expression of Yifan seeking some kind of contact. "But I didn't want to interrupt you. You have been so stressed as of lately," is the explanation he gives, and Yixing internally winces again. Yifan doesn't know that Yixing's work, while truly busy in the last few weeks, isn't the main reason why the younger has a bit beside himself.

He fights down the desire to tell Yifan once more that no matter what, no matter how busy he might be or how much work has piled up, Yifan is always more important. But the hybrid is already at the whiny-kissy stage, darting his tongue out to lick along Yixing's skin, and like this there is no use in arguing with him either way, Yifan's whole body screaming at him to mate, so Yixing figures that he can just as well postpone the well-intended scolding. Instead he catches the catboy's head, cupping his face with his hands and holding him there so that he can cover Yifan's mouth with his.

The hybrid surges against him at the contact, pressing his whole body against Yixing and not even giving their kiss a chance to build slowly; he immediately pushes his tongue out, looking to coax Yixing's into his mouth. He's needy, and Yixing doesn't hesitate before giving the elder what he's requesting. At this stage, Yifan doesn't need slow and gentle, he needs Yixing's touches to take off the edge of desire that's been eating him up in the last few hours while the heat wreaked havoc in his veins. So Yixing holds his ground in their kiss, his fingers twisting in Yifan's hair so that he can better tilt the other's head whichever way he wants, and Yifan's hands move to grab a hold of the other's waist, pulling their lower bodies together.

Yixing's breath hitches when he feels the hybrid's erection press against his crotch. Of course Yifan is already aroused, most likely has been for hours without being able to find proper relief, but the sensation still makes Yixing's blood rush to his his neither regions. He acquiesces to Yifan's plea, starting to roll his hips against the elder's eager body, and immediately is rewarded with Yifan's breathy whines escaping in between their messy kisses. He disentangles one of his hands from the catboy's hair to let it glide down Yifan's back instead, with the intention of supporting the other by pulling his body close to Yixing's. As he gets lower, he applies more pressure to his touch, the catboy letting out approving moans and something that sounds like sighs of relief at finally having Yixing's hands on him.

Yixing keeps on kissing him deeply, completely focussed on mapping out Yifan's mouth with his tongue when he reaches Yifan's ass, groping it and using his hold to provide some counterweight for his grinding. The hybrid whines at the touch, but the sound is much higher and needier than Yixing expected, and he's broken out of his concentration for long enough to notice that something feels off. At first he can't place the foreign sensation, and then the low sound of vibrations registers with him. He pulls away from their kiss with a gasp, his eyes widened as he looks at Yifan in surprise, a surge of arousal rushing through his veins as his brain finally puts two and two together.

"Did you..." Yixing hears how his voice croaks, and he marvels at how quickly Yifan always manages to reduce him to a mess, but instead of finishing his question he presses his fingers into the fabric of Yifan's sweatpants with intent, right between the round globes of the hybrid's ass. This time a loud, throaty moan escapes from Yifan that shoots straight to Yixing's throat as the younger presses the tip of the vibrating dildo further against Yifan's prostate.

"You-" Yifan whines, his knees buckling slightly as Yixing repeats the action, prompting the younger to bring his second hand down to stabilize the other by holding onto his waist. "You weren't here, and everything was hot."

He shouldn't be surprised, Yixing thinks, because of course the catboy would be searching for some kind of relief until the younger finally gets home. Yifan still uses his toys, even when Yixing is there to take him through his heats now, so this is far from the first time that he's seeing Yifan grind back against where his hand is pushing the dildo in further, but the sight never fails to make Yixing's mind short-circuit with desire. He bites his tongue to stop himself from reminding the other he should have called if it was so bad, and instead leans up for another kiss as his hands squeeze Yifan's ass. Another needy noise falls from the catboy's mouth, but it changes into one of complaint when Yixing seals their kiss off with a short peck before withdrawing.

It's not easy to pull away, but Yifan's body has already been at its limit for hours. It shows in the way his knees are weak, and he's holding onto Yixing as if he's his lifeline. So Yixing takes his hand, and quickly makes his way towards the far end of their flat where their bedroom is located. As soon as the catboy figures out the other's intention, his complaints stop immediately, eagerly following along.

Yixing wastes no time in planting another kiss on Yifan's lips, before grabbing the hem of Yifan's shirt and pulling it over his head. The catboy, not wanting to wait another moment, reciprocates by hastily ridding the younger of his sweater and the undershirt he's wearing below it at once, and immediately searching for the younger's lips again as soon as the barrier of their shirts is out of the way. Yixing cranes his neck, the soles of his feet staying firmly planted to the ground as Yifan bends his upper body down enough to meet the younger. While their lips glide against each other, Yixing palms the other's erection through his pants, enjoying the way he can feel the low moan vibrate right against his mouth.

"Why did you put on pants?" He asks as he hooks his thumbs into the flexible waistband, ready to pull the obstructing textile out of the way. Usually the catboy doesn't particularly care for clothes as soon as he's in his heat, every kind of fabric too harsh against his sensitive skin, and he knows that the catboy wouldn't have dressed just to come greet him by the door; when Yifan's in this state, he's way too shameless to care about looking decent in front of Yixing. So it startles him that the catboy is wearing a shirt and pants, when he obviously must have had to undress in order to insert the dildo.

"I wanted to see when you come home," Yifan admits, sounding apologetic and whiny at the same time, "and you told me I should put on clothes if the curtains aren't drawn."

Yixing remembers when they were almost kicked out of their old flat because people had complained about Yifan walking around naked, and while Yixing had gotten mad that whatever they did in their own flat was their own business, he still had advised Yifan to not walk around in his birthday suit in order to not upset the harmony.

"You're stupid." is what Yixing wants to tell Yifan; stupid for bottling up his need, trying to find comfort in the pleasure the dildo provides when the catboy knows as well as Yixing does that nothing but the human's touches really help him during his heat, stupid for not even daring to fully focus on his own body's needs but instead staying poised for Yixing's return. "I'm sorry for making you wait," is what he says instead, his only task right now being to make Yifan feel good, as an apology and because that's his role _and_ his personal pleasure.

In a flurry of movement they lose their remaining clothes, and Yixing manoeuvres Yifan onto the bed; not that it takes much effort with the hybrid willingly following every little touch of guidance from Yixing. The younger reaches for the remote control of the vibrator once they're settled, his mouth sucking bruises over Yifan's collarbones. He feels the body beneath him jolt a little when he turns the intensity of the toy up a little, the vibration having been set to the second lowest level so far as if Yifan didn't want to grant himself too much pleasure in Yixing's absence. He wonders whether that is something triggered by Yifan's submissive instincts as well, as he has always only ever encouraged the catboy to take all the pleasure he wants or needs to, and at every other time Yifan would, but during his heat he will barely dare lay a finger on himself with the intent of finding gratification.

It is all the more reason for Yixing to not drag out Yifan's first orgasm. Yixing has been through enough heats already to know that the catboy will not find any rest before he finds release, multiple times; the need to mate not being easily satisfied. Throughout the years of helping Yifan through the three days where the catboy is driven by nothing but primal needs, his stamina has improved greatly, but even now it will only last him so long.

So he slides down the catboy's body, leaving kisses, licks and soft bites in his trail. He makes a brief stop at Yifan's nipples, the tiny buds erect and particularly responsive to the wet warmth of his tongue. His own dick twitches when Yifan moans, loud and unrestrained, not a care in the world for who might hear them. All the hybrid cares about is the fact that finally Yixing is there to adore his body, and his hips buck automatically as if to give the human a not so subtle hint where Yifan _actually_ needs the attention.

Deciding that he can always later come back to tease Yifan's nipples some more, Yixing quickly abandons his task of lathering the buds with saliva, instead shifting until he's eye to eye with the hybrids erection, curving against his stomach. He gently traces the prominent vein running along it with his pointer finger, and Yifan throws his head into the pillows, his back arching as if Yixing had already deep-throated him. It's a clear sign of how sensitive he is, and Yixing loses no time in replacing his finger with his tongue.

He half expects Yifan to come right then and there, as if the mere fact that Yixing is in some direct contact with his cock will make him spill, but surprisingly Yifan stands firm. A small smirk forms on Yixing's lips as he silently accepts the challenge. Making Yifan cum the first time is always either the easiest or the hardest, and this time it seems like he has to work for it a little. Not that he minds; he knows all of the hybrid’s spots, uses his tongue to lap at the downside of Yifan's cock while going up and scraping his teeth slightly against the heated flesh when he moves back down. He holds himself there for a few heartbeats, then swallows and repeats the motion, varying the speed a little from time to time. Yifan's hands buried in his hair give him direct feedback for how his actions are making the other feel, their tightening and loosing telling Yixing when to speed up and when to dip his tongue into the slit at the head. He contemplates changing the intensity of the vibrator, but since he will have to make Yifan cum a few more times, he decides to save the help of the toy.

He does, however, reach for where the end of the dildo is jutting out from Yifan's entrance, and he times the next bob of his head with the press of his fingers against the silicone material. The reaction is immediate, the catboy's voice breaking as he moans, and Yixing has to use his free hand for applying enough pressure on Yifan's hips to stop him from thrusting up. The hybrid's thighs are trembling when Yixing starts humming around his erection, and the sounds he's producing make arousal pool in Yixing's stomach as well. Sucking Yifan off always gets to him; the heavy weight of his cock against his tongue, the way the other is pulling at his hair strong enough that it twinges, but doesn't truly hurt. It's enough to have him move his own hips against the sheets, looking for some kind of friction with both his hands being occupied.

Yifan's release announces itself by the elder's sharp intake of breath, before he starts chanting Yixing's name; or attempts to, at least, the syllables running into another until all he produces is a drawn out " _Xing"._ Yixing resists the hands in his hair that are trying to pull him away, humming around the catboy's length while making sure that the toy keeps jabbing at his prostate, and like this he gets Yifan to shoot his cum down his throat, the hot white liquid too much for him to swallow it all at once, but he manages to catch most of it.

Yifan sinks to the mattress, boneless, but Yixing knows that this state won't last long. He sits back on his heels to take in the sight before him, Yifan panting, his silver hair plastered to his forehead. The gentleness of the smile on Yixing's lips contrasts the way his own cock is aching with the need for release, but he just can't help himself when Yifan is looking at him like this, the content feeling of his afterglow making his features relax for a moment. The catboy mewls lowly when he catches the other's gaze on him, and reaches his hands for Yixing in a request to come close again. The younger complies, willingly entering Yifan's embrace and lowering himself down onto the taller body beneath him, their bare skin sliding against each other as Yixing presses kisses against Yifan's hungry mouth.

He brushes the thumb of his left hand over Yifan's nipple, enjoying the way Yifan's hips buck, rubbing their cocks together and drawing a moan from Yixing as well. With the right hand he reaches down for the remote control, kicking the strength of the vibration up a notch and marveling in Yifan's reactions. His cock is already half hard again, and as Yixing increases the speed step by step, the former relaxation makes way to need once more. Yixing is there to catch him, reciprocating each of Yifan's whines with a roll of his groin against Yifan's. He's half sitting on the catboy's thighs, his hips tilted so that he can grind down perfectly, and the further he presses Yifan into the mattress, the deeper it makes the vibrator dig into the hybrid.

Eventually he reaches the maximum vibration, and Yifan is panting heavily against his lips as he tries to decide whether to move down against the toy or up to where Yixing's cock is brushing against his. The younger decides to help his decision a little, and he takes the hand of Yifan's that's currently resting against Yixing's lower back, pressing the other down. He guides him by the wrist to where their cocks are rubbing against each other, the catboy immediately understanding what Yixing wants. His fingers are longer than Yixing's, so he has no troubles wrapping them around both their lengths, increasing the friction tenfold. This time it's Yixing's turn to throw his head back with a guttural moan, and he feels Yifan preen with the knowledge that he's pleasing his mate. They try to keep on kissing, but with the way Yixing's hips are rutting against Yifan's, they're both too breathless and too preoccupied with the stimulation to concentrate on their mouth's movements, making their kisses end up being random and sloppy.

Yixing contemplates drawing away, because he's close to the edge, but he's too weak-willed. The catboy's hand feels too good wrapped around his cock, and the keen that leaves Yifan's lips whenever the vibrator jolts within him goes straight to his groin. So when he feels the heat pool in his stomach, he lets his second hand join the first one on Yifan's chest, rubbing his nipples as he tries to push the hybrid over the edge together with him. Yifan's back arches, as his hands continues moving up and down around their cocks, his voice getting stuck in his throat as a desperate noise vibrates within his chest. Yixing recognizes the purr, the desperate kind, that the catboy only ever produces when he's beyond the border of coherency from pleasure. It's a noise the younger only hears during Yifan's heat, when his senses are especially heightened, and it's the last straw, making Yixing cum with a gasp of Yifan's name.

Simultaneously, he leans down to bite into the catboy's neck, careful not to break the skin but strong enough to make the elder feel the pressure. It's a possessive gesture he has learned about from Yifan, the bite mark showing his claim on his mate. Since he's a human, it doesn't quite work the same as he can't transfer his smell through his saliva the way hybrids can, but Yifan's body always recognizes the gesture as what it's meant to be. It never fails to push Yifan over the edge, the taller male cuming with a cry, his whole body convulsing against Yixing's as the stimulation becomes too much for him to take. They rut against each other until they're both milked dry, their release sticky between their bodies but neither of them mind. Yixing darts his tongue out to glide over the bite mark as he tries to catch his breath a little before they continue, the gesture meant to soothe the tender skin as much as it is the completion of the claiming.

"Are you okay?" Yixing asks, gently stroking down Yifan's arm with his right hand until he can link his fingers together with Yifan's unsoiled ones, his other hand turning the vibrator off. The hybrid appreciates the gesture with a light squeeze, and swallows once in an attempt to moisten his raw throat, but he eventually answers Yixing's question with a slight nod.

"How about you?" the catboy's voice comes out as a whisper, and Yixing smiles down at him before moving to press a soft peck against his lips.

"Fine," he answers, and tells Yifan to just wipe his hand against the sheets when he notices the hybrid being unsure what to do with the soiled palm; they'll have to wash the sheets either way. Yifan does as he's told, and then uses his free hand to rest against Yixing's shoulder blade as the younger plasters Yifan's face with small kisses; moving from his cheeks over his nose to the point directly between his eyebrows. He brushes the other's hair away from his sweat matted forehead before letting his lips linger there for a bit longer. Kissing Yifan's forehead is an expression of affection he's been doing for way longer than they've been dating for, and therefore it holds a special place in both their hearts.

He gives both of them a little time to recover, supporting his weight on his elbow as he locks his lips with Yifan. Eventually the catboy's content sighs regain their needy edge, and they change to whines, the sign that Yifan's body is demanding its next release. Yixing reacts by deepening their kisses again, knowing that while he can go another round, he does still need a bit longer until his energy properly returns. So he stalls by sucking Yifan's tongue into his mouth, his thumb stroking over the back of Yifan's hand. The elder responds to his kisses eagerly, but at the same time he becomes more and more pleading for Yixing to move faster, his cock already half hard again, rubbing against Yixing's body as much as the other lets him.

Yixing concedes eventually, pressing his fingertips into Yifan's side as he breaks their kiss in favour of nibbling at Yifan's lower lip. "Can you get on your hands and knees for me?" he asks in a silent whisper, waiting for the other to nod--quite excitedly so, the prospect of Yixing resuming their previous activities having the hybrid more than eager--before he moves away to give Yifan the room to shift into the position he requested.

The elder scrambles up as soon as he can, and Yixing can feel his own cock twitch slightly at the sight of Yifan presenting himself so willingly to him. With his rear sticking in Yixing's direction, he has a perfect sight of where vibrator is still disappearing in the hybrid's hole. "I don't think we need this anymore," he says, tapping the toy slightly as an indication what he's talking about. Yifan hums in agreement, and moans softly when Yixing pulls the dildo out, the stimulation making his arousal grow even more. Bereft of the dick-shaped silicone, his rim clenches around nothing but air, and although Yifan tries to suppress the noise, he still lets out a small noise of complaint.

Yixing shushes him, and tells him that there's no need to be sad, he will be full again soon enough, and Yifan mewls at the promises, shuffling a little to get his behind even closer to Yixing, his tail swishing around in an attempt to attract the younger man. It works in making desire pool in Yixing's stomach, and he moves forward to gently brush his fingertips around the base of Yifan's tail, before taking a light hold of the furry appendage and stroking down it with his hand. The catboy's tail is one of Yifan's weak spots, much like Yixing's neck is for the human, and the throaty moan the elder produces at the touch sends a pleasant shiver down Yixing's spine. He traces his hand's movements with his nose, rubbing it against the silky silver hairs and drawing further approving noises from the hybrid.

But as much as Yixing loves playing with Yifan's tail, he has other intentions, and so he lets go of it in favour of facing the other's protruding rear. Unconsciously he darts a tongue over his lips at the sight, before grabbing both ass cheeks with his hands. Yifan's thighs quiver slightly as he moans in approval when Yixing starts massaging the globes lightly, making the younger smirk. He applies more pressure with his right hand as he pulls his left hand away in order to make way for his mouth, biting playfully at the flesh. Yifan's breath hitches, and gets released again in a shuddering exhale as Yixing darts his tongue over the spot before repeating the action. At this point, Yifan is high-strung, every touch of Yixing's reducing him to a shivering and moaning mess. It means that Yixing has an easy job with pleasuring Yifan, but he still is thorough with it.

After he deems the other's backside appropriately abused by his mouth, he darts a kittenish lick against the base of Yifan's tail, and doesn't even take the time to properly enjoy the catboy's reaction before he follows the cleft of his ass, down to Yifan's entrance. He feels Yifan hold his breath in anticipation, and he's half tempted to hold out on the hybrid, but then the other lets out one of his high-pitched, pleading whines, and Yixing knows that he'll give in either way. So he licks along the other's rim first, massaging it with his tongue, before breaking past the ring of muscles. Since Yifan has already had the vibrator up his ass, he's quite loose already, and Yixing can easily feel along Yifan's inner walls. He laps up the self-lubrication of the catboy, having long since gotten used to it's taste, to the point where he finds it downright arousing. It had been weird at first for Yixing who had only been with human partners before Yifan, but he has learned to appreciate it ever since.

A shiver wrecks through Yifan's body at the feel of Yixing's tongue, his breathless voice calling for Yixing to continue, to give him more. Yixing resists at first, keeping his pace, but eventually he brings his free hand up, pressing his fingers into Yifan's skin right above his tongue and dragging them upwards to the base of Yifan's tail. His mouth stretches into a smirk even while he keeps eating Yifan out as he grabs the furry appendage again, holding on tighter this time and using his thumb to massage its sensitive spots.

Yifan gasps at the new sensation, his arms bucking. Unable to support his own body weight any longer, his upper body drops down, the pillow muffling his moans as the new position makes his ass jut out even more, much to Yixing's pleasure. He keeps up with his ministrations, paying special attention to the hybrid's tail, until he can feel the elder's hole spasm around his tongue, signalling him that Yifan has found release yet again.

Yixing is panting when he finally pulls his head away from Yifan's ass, but it's nothing compared to the way Yifan's chest is heaving and falling. After his third release, exhaustion is slowly settling into the catboy's muscles. It's obvious from the way his thighs are quivering from the mere strain of holding himself up, but when Yifan feels Yixing lean back, he immediately whines for the other to come back, to finally fuck him. Even though he came just now, Yifan's still hard, the heat keeping him aroused, and Yixing willingly moves to drape himself over the other's body again in a reassuring weight.

He presses kisses up Yifan's spine, from the base of his tail ‘til his shoulder blades, and leaning over him like this makes Yixing's cock press against the other's ass. Yifan mewls weakly when he feels the hot length, and shuffles in an attempt to get Yixing to glide in, but the younger has other plans, taking physical state into account.

Yixing, much like Yifan, prefers positions where he can look Yifan in the eye, where can see his features contort in pleasure as he drills into the hybrid, but their height difference sadly has him at a slight disadvantage. Usually is doesn't matter much; dancing has taught him how to move his hips, and Yifan is flexible enough to be bent in half. But even though they can make it work, Yixing can put the most strength into his thrusts and angle them the best when he's taking Yifan from behind like this. As this is only the first day of Yifan's heat, he knows he needs to ration his energy, and this is the position that brings the best result with the least effort.

"Spread your knees further apart," he whispers, knowing that the hybrid can pick up on his voice even when it's weak. Yixing uses one hand to push against Yifan's lower back, making the elder's hips move down until he's resting completely against the bed, and Yixing follows him down. He cages the other beneath him, both hands resting besides Yifan's head as he lies between Yifan's spread legs. Like this, he can perfectly align his cock with the catboy's hole, and with a soft kiss against Yifan's shoulder blade he asks for permission to push in. Yifan answers him with a string of please, begging with primal instinct for the other's cock to fill him, to make him whole, to douse the fire that's still burning in his veins. And who is Yixing to object.

The glide in is slow, way slower than it needs to be because Yifan is well-stretched from the vibrator and the need to mate makes him pretty much unreceptive for the pain that breaching his rim usually brings, but for this part, Yixing likes to take his time. He holds his breath while Yifan's warmth envelops him, trying to resist the temptation to just thrust in. Perhaps Yifan would have even liked that, but Yixing sinks in at a steady pace until he's buried till the hilt. There he stills, much to Yifan's distress, the catboy's drawn-out moan ending with a whimper and Yixing sucks a bruise into his back, right beside his spine, in an attempt to placate him. As soon as he has regained his breath a little, he starts gyrating his hips, only slightly first, but in accordance to the rising volume of Yifan's moans he adds strength, intent, until he's putting all of his dancing practice to work, moving in waves against Yifan. The purring starts again, prompting Yixing's to start pulling out before thrusting back in in earnest.

The way Yifan is chanting his name is music to Yixing's ears, and it adds fuel to the passion coursing through his veins, making him look for Yifan's sweet spot with added urgency. There is sweat dripping into his eyes from his eyebrows, but he couldn't care less when Yifan suddenly arches his back, his hoarse voice almost breaking as he keens. Yixing keeps exactly that angle, and the strength of his thrusts makes Yifan slide against their bed sheets, the smooth cloth rubbing against his dick. Yixing needs both of his arms to maintain his balance, so instead of reaching for the other's length like he usually would, he properly times his thrusts, varying between drilling into Yifan at high speed and pushing in with strength and holding himself against the hybrid's prostate.

The catboy doesn't stop shouting his name with that purring voice of his, and with his hole clenching around Yixing's length pushes the younger to the edge. He's at his limit, both stamina and self-restraint wise, but the way Yifan is rutting against the mattress tells him that the other is close as well. He uses his last strength to lower his upper body down until he can attach his lips to Yifan's skin, exchanging his former motion for shallow thrusts, the tip of his cock a constant weight rubbing against Yifan's prostate. It pushes the catboy past the point of coherency, and when he throws his head back it gives Yixing the perfect opportunity to nip at the elder's neck.

Then Yifan is cumming, a throaty moan that sounds more like a sob ripping from his throat, his breath hitching as he rides out his high by pressing back against Yixing. The younger immediately follows, the hybrid's orgasm the permission for him to cum too, and he climaxes with a groan, taking delight in the weak mewl that shows Yifan's approval for the feeling of Yixing's hot semen filling him up. He slumps down as soon as he has completely emptied himself, his limbs feeling liquid and he doesn't even want to imagine how Yifan must feel, having cum twice as many times as him already.

He presses lazy kisses against Yifan's spine, letting his cock go soft while still buried in the comfortable warmth of the catboy's body. Yixing could stay joined like this forever, but the skin beneath his lips is still hot, flushed with more than just post-coital exhaustion, and when the younger eventually pulls out, Yifan still protests weakly, a low whimper changing into a moan at the drag of Yixing's cock against his rim.

Yixing urges the catboy to turn around with gentle touches, and Yifan does, flopping over to the side of the bed where the sheets are still relatively clean. He looks up at Yixing with dilated pupils, his mouth hanging open as his breath comes out in puffs.

"Yixing," he weakly calls out, the younger heading his wish immediately, moving until he's hovering above the catboy.

"What do you need, love?" he asks, one hand cupping the catboy's cheek and leaving a soft kiss on his lips.

"I want to see you," Yifan pleads, his voice coarse and scratchy, but Yixing has no troubles understanding him. For a split second, he doesn't quite get the other's request, as Yifan obviously is able to see him right then, but then it clicks.

"Of course," Yixing tells the catboy, and leans down to join their lips while his hand slides down the other's body.

Despite the temperature of his skin, Yifan clearly is exhausted; it's easy to tell from the way he's slumping against the sheets, barely enough strength left to crane his neck to properly meet Yixing in the kiss. The younger sighs mentally with relief that the hybrid has more or less made it through his first wave of his heat, and he knows that soon they'll both be able to catch some sleep before the next one hits.

So he kisses Yifan back into the pillows, the hybrid's length hot and heavy in his hand. Yixing swallows all the low, hoarse whines, drinks them up and reciprocates by twisting his hand in a slightly different angle, applying a bit more pressure when he comes down to the base and loosening his grip again as he moves up. He loves having Yifan like this, still begging for his love and attention, but so weak and sated already that every little action of Yixing's makes him whine for more. Despite being unable to do much, he trusts Yixing to take good care of him, and like this Yixing always feels the most in love, when the hybrid drinks up his affections hungrily.

Yifan has troubles keeping his eyes open against the sensations, oversensitivity from already having cum four times warring against the last spark of need still coursing in his blood, but Yixing covers the catboy's mouth with his in a wordless concession that Yifan doesn't need to fight against his body's reactions. The elder holds Yixing's gaze with lidded eyes for as long as he can, but when Yixing changes the rhythm of his strokes, Yifan's face scrunches up in pleasure. The younger works his hand up and down, making sure to dip his thumb into the slit at the tip of the catboy's cock whenever he can, smearing the precum oozing from there to make the glide of his hand even easier. Yifan's body tries to react to the pleasure racking through his body, but his muscles are too exhausted for him to arch his back properly.

Yixing nips at Yifan's neck as the elder throws his head back, a weak moan leaving his lips. The sound urges Yixing to speed up, and no matter how often he's already managed to push Yifan over the edge tonight, he's still greedy for more, more noises, more reactions. " _Yixing,_ " the catboy calls in a whiny tone, and the younger immediately knows what Yifan wants, so he moves up to kiss the sounds from Yifan's lips, giving the hybrid the sense of connection he wants. The way Yifan kisses back is desperate, although his movements are sloppily because the pleasure wrecking through his weakened body robs him of his proper coordination skills, and Yixing gets even more gratification from knowing that he's the one who has caused this state.

He keeps on brushing his lips against Yifan's, whispering reassurances and compliments against them, telling the catboy how good he's doing, how good he _looks_ , and how Yixing doesn't know what he would do if he didn't have Yifan by his side. Yixing knows how much the words get to Yifan, how much the hybrid lives off the praise and he can tell the immediate reaction in the way Yifan's finger dig deeper into the skin of his hips, holding him tighter as an encouragement to continue. It doesn't take much more than a few more quiet words, another flick of his wrist followed by applying pressure to the slit at the tip of Yifan's cock for a split second longer, and when Yixing brings his hand back down Yifan is cumming, shooting his semen all over Yixing's hand and his own stomach, a broken whimper the only sound his vocal chords are still capable of producing.

Yixing helps the hybrid through this climax, the way he's already helped him through his previous ones, but this time he gets to see Yifan's face as the catboy reaches his orgasm, and although he is completely spent, the wave of arousal running through his body all of a sudden has him shudder. He doesn't stop moving his hand until Yifan has completely emptied himself, and when the catboy goes boneless beneath him with exhaustion, Yixing kisses him all the gentler, his tongue brushing against the other's swollen lips and massaging them softly. Yifan, despite being worn out, still opens his mouth to coax Yixing inside, enjoying the lazy way their tongues brush against each other as he can drown all his senses in everything Yixing.

It's the part Yixing always enjoys the most about Yifan's heats, when they lie pressed together once the burning desire is satisfied and Yixing has quickly cleaned them both up. In these times, their bodies tangle so perfectly with each other that one could think they have been molded into one entity. Lying like this they trade slow kisses and soft touches, Yixing's hands brushing through Yifan's hair, messing with the short strands at his neck, and Yifan's fingers dancing up and down Yixing's sides, as if he were tracing invisible lines there before moving to draw shapes on his back whenever Yixing lies half of top of him. It's not that they only cuddle together like this for post-coital snuggles when Yifan is in his heat, but it are the afterglow and utter exhaustion from the strain of their previous activities that always make Yixing cherish it even more then when they usually curl together like this.

But no matter how much both enjoy the leisure, the relaxation eventually overwhelms Yifan and he drifts off to sleep first, the heat having wrecked his body much more than it did Yixing's, although the human can't say he's unaffected. He tries his best to stay awake for a bit longer to marvel at the sight of Yifan's sleeping face, his hair disheveled and sticking slightly to his sweaty forehead. He lets his hand follow the lines of Yifan's cheekbones, the strong lines of his brows and down the bridge of his nose, until he reaches Yifan's lips. On any normal night he would be afraid of waking the catboy up, but he knows that Yifan will sleep like a stone for a few hours at least, so he doesn't hesitate in pressing down a little against the other's lips. A low noise rumbles from the catboy's chest, but it's only an unconscious reaction to Yixing's touches, no danger of him waking up. Eventually Yixing lets his thumb glide down, opening Yifan's mouth a little by pulling his chin down as he leans up to press one last kiss against the hybrid's lips. It lingers as the seconds tick by, then the younger pulls away. He casts one last look at his sleeping lover before settling against the elder's broad chest, his arms wound tightly around the other's torso as he follows Yifan into the land of dreams.

They spend the next two days mostly in bed, pushing their bodies to the limit and past it as Yixing provides Yifan with all the sexual gratification that the heat burning through his veins requires. It's not the first time that he's grateful for having a job that keeps him well in training, so he doesn't need to rely on Yifan's toys too much to bring the hybrid relief. Not that he doesn't still need their help, the catboy's heightened sex drive too much for his human stamina to keep up, but he knows that the climaxes his own touches tease from Yifan always provide the hybrid with much more satisfaction than those triggered by the toys do.

By the noon of the second day, most of the fire burning underneath the hybrid's skin has been placated, and all that's left are 187 centimeter of snuggle-neediness. The last part of Yifan's heat always leaves them like this, tangled together in bed, their bodies so exhausted that even going to the kitchen for food seems like a Herculean task. Yifan remains needy during these hours, whining at Yixing to give him the comfort his body is screaming for. But instead of needing the younger to make him moan and keen, to fill him up and claim him as his, Yifan just needs Yixing to be close, so he can bathe in the contentment that is thrumming beneath his skin whenever Yixing writes words onto his bare chest, like fleeting lyrics to songs he'll never perpetuate on paper.

They usually spend these hours napping. Yifan's brain, not yet quite recovered from the rush of hormones that renders him unable to hold onto any thought for longer than a few seconds if it is unrelated to either procreation or appealing to Yixing, making it difficult to lead more than very simple conversations, but Yixing doesn't mind that. Even with Yifan by his side, his life is a constant rush, simply because Yixing always finds way to keep himself busy, and although he is busy in a good way, he still values these little breaks every two months. Yifan might be the one whose hormones bind him to Yixing, but Yixing needs the hybrid just as much to ground him, to balance him and make him find rest and peace as soon as he returns home from work. It's clear to both of them, that what they have is something lasting. Imprinting is forever, after all, and five years later Yixing is still as in love with the hybrid as he has been on the first day.

Closer to the evening, Yifan slowly starts coming back to normal, although his elevated clinginess stays, most often lasting well into the next day. With the heat slowly leaving from his system, the hybrid also starts shivering, and when Yixing offers that they can just pull the covers up and get ready for sleep, Yifan looks contemplative for a moment before shaking his head.

"I'll be right back," he tells the younger, pecking his nose before jumping out of bed and disappearing out of the room, leaving a puzzled Yixing behind.

True to his word, Yifan reappears in the door frame mere moments later, but now he's not only wearing the boxers in which he left, but there also is an all too familiar sweater, the blue colour washed out to a Cornflower shade and the motif on it's front long gone.

Yixing watches Yifan with wide eyes as the hybrid makes his way back to the bed, quickly slipping back underneath the covers and sidling close to Yixing. "I just remembered that I put it into the cupboard in the hallway," Yifan offers by means of explanation, as if it's no big deal.

Yixing, however, continues gaping at Yifan. He hasn't seen the elder wear this sweater in years, and he almost forgot it even existed, the blue piece of clothing a faint, bittersweet memory rather than something within actual, tangible reach for him.

"I didn't even know you kept it," he eventually says, earning himself a funny glance from the hybrid.

"Of course I kept it," Yifan says, and he doesn't even elaborate, as if it is completely obvious why he kept the sweater, as if there is absolutely no way for him to _not_ keep it. "It is exactly what I need right now," he explains, pulling at the sleeves that are already too short for him until they cover his hands and bringing them up until he can smell at the fabric.

Like this, he looks so small again, which doesn't make sense at all since the sweater in no way accentuates how small Yifan is, rather pointing clearly out how tall he's grown. And yet Yixing's heart contracts with unbelievable fondness and the sense of protectiveness he's been carrying around for as long as he knows the hybrid.

He has been planning to ask Yifan in two weeks, when they'll have their fifth anniversary as an official couple. There is supposed to be a dinner, the classical way, and flowers, and a bottle of that one champagne brand that Yifan won't admit to liking because he thinks it's too expensive. But he just can't stop himself. Perhaps he's also going through an afterglow as a result of Yifan's heat that elevates the fondness he feels in accordance to Yifan's every action. It doesn't really matter though, before he knows it he himself has clambered out of bed and rushed to the hallway where he unceremoniously dropped his stuff two days ago.

The coat is still where he left it, crumbled on the ground, and he quickly bends down to retrieve the small box he had been nervously turning in his fingers on his way home. Yifan is watching him curiously when he returns, his ears perking up and he sits straighter when he sees the slight nervousness in the set of Yixing's shoulders, the hands he's keeping behind his back a dead giveaway that there is something up.

"I originally meant to do this when we have our five year anniversary," Yixing starts as he sits down on the bed again, the mattress dipping slightly beneath his weight, "but I don't want to wait anymore. This is one of the things were you can keep on waiting for the perfect moment but something will always be off. And you wearing this sweater, that's what makes this the perfect moment."

Yifan's mouth is hanging slightly open, and his expression looks slightly suspicious, as if he has an idea where Yixing is heading but he doesn't quite know whether his guess is correct.

Yixing continues, undeterred by the tight ball of nervousness in his stomach, "We have been living here in Shanghai for five years now, and you know as well as me that this place was no home for me until you came, and the moment you moved into that tiny hole of a flat with me, Changsha, while always being the place where Baba and Mama live, and where we grew up, kind of lost that feeling the moment you left. So the only logical conclusion is that my home," Yixing pauses shortly, passing the box into his left hand so that he can press his right hand against Yifan's chest, "is wherever you are. It took me a long time to realize that, but now I have no doubt about it. And I know you might think it's silly, and just a social convention of human society that doesn't apply to us as a couple either way, but do you want to become my husband?"

With that he pulls the box out from behind his back, and reluctantly draws his hand back from Yifan's chest to open the lid. Inside are two simple, silver bands, inlaid with two gems each. Yixing made sure to get stones that fit the colour of their eyes, the soft green of Yifan's Celadon ones and the amber colour of his own creating a combination that the jeweller seemed rather fond of.

"I don't know if we can actually, legally, get married. I have a friend from our legal department who's doing me a big favour and looking into the matter, but even if we can't get married on the paper, I still want to exchange rings with you."

Yifan looks at him in puzzlement, as if in all the things he expected, this wasn't included, and when he stays silent, Yixing continues talking, feeling like he failed in getting all the thoughts across he's been carrying with him for the last few months since he started thinking about this decision.

"The thing is, I don't want people to ask anymore if it is stressful to own a catboy. I don't want them to look at you and praise _me_ for training you so well. Rather I want them to look at you and wonder why you're wearing a ring. I want people to ask me why the ring I wear looks the same, and I want to grab your hand and show them both of our rings, telling them that my ring looks the same because I am yours, in exactly the same way that you are mine," Yixing explains, his gaze staying fix on Yifan the whole time.

When the catboy's eyes start watering, Yixing scoots forward, a wavering smile on his face because even if it aren't tears of sadness, seeing the glistening in Yifan's eyes give makes his heart sting. "Hey, hey, it's my role in this relationship to cry, you know?" he playfully scolds Yifan with a small, self-ironic laugh as he recalls all the times in their life when he was the one with misty eyes while Yifan was a bastion of calm. "Come on, don't cry." When Yifan stars sniffling, Yixing leans forward to kiss the tears from the corner of his eyes before the droplets can even begin to fall down, the gesture making Yifan chuckle lightly.

"I shouldn't have asked in the wake of your heat when your hormonal balance is still upset," Yixing murmurs against the skin of Yifan's face, the words sounding more like a he's thinking loud rather than actually addressing Yifan, the elder's laugh sounding like a half-sob, but one that speaks of agreement.

"Yes," the hybrid says a heartbeat later, when Yixing's kisses linger for longer than necessary, and Yixing smiles against his cheek before drawing back.

"Sorry for the bad timing," he apologizes again, but Yifan shakes his head as if he doesn't agree with the younger.

"No, Yixing, what I meant is _yes I do_ ," he elaborates, putting special emphasises on the few words last word.

"Yes?" the younger asks for confirmation, as if he's expecting his ears to be playing tricks on him, but Yifan just nods in confirmation. And Yixing, unable to put the rush of joy into words, instead surges forward to press a kiss to Yifan's mouth.

"Thank you," he whispers when he pulls back, his voice slightly choked up, and Yifan laughs at how the equilibrium has been restored, before he leans down to meet Yixing's lips again.


End file.
